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52 of 89 (58%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Unlocked 12 Sep, 2023 @ 12:24pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Unlocked 14 Sep, 2023 @ 10:00am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.
Unlocked 14 Sep, 2023 @ 9:34am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Unlocked 12 Sep, 2023 @ 12:20pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Unlocked 13 Oct, 2023 @ 2:13pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.
Unlocked 12 Sep, 2023 @ 12:49pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.
Unlocked 13 Sep, 2023 @ 1:48pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.
Unlocked 14 Sep, 2023 @ 9:49am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.
Unlocked 15 Sep, 2023 @ 9:54am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.
Unlocked 16 Sep, 2023 @ 2:56am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.
Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 12:14am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Unlocked 20 Sep, 2023 @ 1:48pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.
Unlocked 15 Sep, 2023 @ 10:07am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.
Unlocked 4 Oct, 2023 @ 10:02am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Unlocked 15 Sep, 2023 @ 11:08am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Unlocked 15 Sep, 2023 @ 10:46am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Unlocked 17 Nov, 2023 @ 12:13pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Unlocked 13 Sep, 2023 @ 1:55pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Unlocked 13 Oct, 2023 @ 10:58am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.
Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 12:49am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Unlocked 12 Sep, 2023 @ 12:58pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Unlocked 12 Sep, 2023 @ 12:16pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Unlocked 15 Sep, 2023 @ 10:48am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Unlocked 17 Sep, 2023 @ 12:17am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Unlocked 15 Sep, 2023 @ 9:58am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Unlocked 20 Sep, 2023 @ 12:59pm

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Unlocked 14 Oct, 2023 @ 2:04am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Unlocked 8 Oct, 2023 @ 7:26am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Unlocked 15 Sep, 2023 @ 9:52am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Unlocked 16 Sep, 2023 @ 11:24am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Unlocked 13 Oct, 2023 @ 11:06am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Unlocked 13 Sep, 2023 @ 8:35am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Unlocked 12 Sep, 2023 @ 12:07pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Unlocked 12 Sep, 2023 @ 12:51pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.
Unlocked 16 Sep, 2023 @ 2:59am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.
Unlocked 13 Sep, 2023 @ 1:45pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.
Unlocked 15 Sep, 2023 @ 10:02am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Unlocked 13 Sep, 2023 @ 8:32am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Unlocked 6 Oct, 2023 @ 12:08pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Unlocked 6 Oct, 2023 @ 12:04pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Unlocked 8 Oct, 2023 @ 6:59am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.
Unlocked 15 Sep, 2023 @ 11:23am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.
Unlocked 20 Sep, 2023 @ 1:48pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.
Unlocked 25 Sep, 2023 @ 10:04am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.
Unlocked 28 Sep, 2023 @ 9:24am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.
Unlocked 30 Sep, 2023 @ 2:35am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Unlocked 5 Oct, 2023 @ 10:05am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.
Unlocked 6 Oct, 2023 @ 1:28pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.
Unlocked 4 Apr @ 1:10pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.
Unlocked 30 Sep, 2023 @ 2:25am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.
Unlocked 6 Apr @ 7:41am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Unlocked 6 Oct, 2023 @ 12:22pm



Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.
17 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.
5 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
13 / 30

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
0 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
24 / 30

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.
7 / 10
+11

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