Тєфтєлi's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 21 Dec @ 4:25am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 24 Dec @ 8:47am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 24 Dec @ 8:50am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 24 Dec @ 9:38am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 20 Dec @ 10:28am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 20 Dec @ 9:40am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 21 Dec @ 4:19am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 21 Dec @ 4:58am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 22 Dec @ 10:12am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 23 Dec @ 7:25am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 29 Dec @ 1:38am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 27 Dec @ 10:18am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 27 Dec @ 9:18am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 27 Dec @ 11:04am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 22 Dec @ 10:46am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 27 Dec @ 9:14am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 28 Dec @ 9:27am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 24 Dec @ 9:56am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 22 Dec @ 10:16am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 26 Dec @ 2:27am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 24 Dec @ 10:22am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 23 Dec @ 9:09am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 23 Dec @ 8:40am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 23 Dec @ 6:40am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 27 Dec @ 7:54am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 28 Dec @ 8:36am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 23 Dec @ 6:54am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 29 Dec @ 1:39am

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 27 Dec @ 9:49am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 23 Dec @ 8:42am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 27 Dec @ 10:06am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 22 Dec @ 9:55am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 24 Dec @ 11:00am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 28 Dec @ 2:08am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 29 Dec @ 1:10am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 28 Dec @ 7:12am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 20 Dec @ 8:02am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 21 Dec @ 6:10am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 20 Dec @ 9:42am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 20 Dec @ 7:50am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 21 Dec @ 6:10am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 20 Dec @ 8:15am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 23 Dec @ 8:56am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 28 Dec @ 7:16am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 23 Dec @ 8:54am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 27 Dec @ 10:15am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 27 Dec @ 9:44am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 27 Dec @ 10:00am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 23 Dec @ 8:59am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 27 Dec @ 10:29am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 24 Dec @ 11:14am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 28 Dec @ 2:37am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 23 Dec @ 8:54am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 23 Dec @ 7:03am

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked 29 Dec @ 12:28am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 20 Dec @ 10:35am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 27 Dec @ 10:16am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 23 Dec @ 9:47am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

0 / 30

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30