Alternative: (enemy) -child

Instructions:
When approaching a child, make sure to first ball your fists tightly.
Take long, rapid strides towards the child.
Ideally, you will be travelling close to the speed of light and will arrive in front of the child a split second after departing, in the child's frame of reference.
It is important to never break eye-contact as you approach the child, and to maintain a grave and inscrutable countenance.
Proceed to hit the child in the face with your closed fist repeatedly in the upper cranium or temporal region repeatedly until death.
Note: You should have a mustache by this point. If not, please refer to Step 1. Grow a Mustache.
You are now considered cool.

I'm Not Old, I'm just Big Boned!

ₜₕᵢₛ ₒₗD ₘF ₕₐₛ cₒₘₘᵢₜₜₑd wₐᵣ cᵣᵢₘₑₛ!