You're right. It will. In 2100 I will own a Riot China toilet that auto queues on flush. I load into ranked game, pick old faithful Vik. His ult was buffed to cover half the map. Four minutes in, the ♥♥♥♥♥ Jax mid kills me again, I put up a surrender vote. I feel a shock coarse through my body. The enemy Aatrox jg (he is no longer viable top) smites me. The surrender vote fails. Everyone by now has muted team chat so communication is done through number stations copted for in game use. The support Alistar calls me useless. I don't care. I die 7 more times. Another shock. Caitlyn's ult can now target nexus. Game lost. I say goodbye to my loving grandkids and go to work.

It Wood

Bro, you’re out here acting like you’re the Founding Titan, but let’s be real—you’re more like a Pure Titan that forgot how to walk. You’re stumbling around like Reiner after Eren hit him with the meanest sucker punch in anime history. And don’t even think about flexing your “strategic mind” when Armin’s out there planning 4D chess while you’re stuck playing checkers with Hange’s pet Titan experiments.

And let me guess—you think you’re ready to join the Scouts? Yeah, sure, if the mission is to be titan bait. You’d be the guy screaming, “I got this!” only to get chomped mid-sentence. The only thing you’re “dedicating your heart” to is eating all the rations before Sasha gets a chance.

So unless you’re ready to face reality (and a 15-meter Titan’s funky breath), stay in the walls, buddy. Because out here, it’s ODM gear or no DM gear—no retries, no respawns, just colossal L’s for people who think they’re Yeagerists but fight like Hannes on his day off.

Timothee Chalamet is most forced A lister ever.

He is not good. He has the charisma of a stump. He, at absolute best, looks like the weird kid who likes to Naruto run through the hallways of your high school yet Hollywood is trying so damn hard to make him the next Leo or Depp. Oh and he is almost 30. He isn’t even young anymore, just perpetually looks and acts 14. It’s painful. I hate it here.

I can't believe I just got rickrolled in Steam profile comments.