Jersey Chocolate Moo Cow's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2018 @ 5:12pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2019 @ 4:22pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2019 @ 3:57pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 17 Nov, 2021 @ 7:39am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 17 Jan, 2019 @ 5:46pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2019 @ 5:22pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 17 Jan, 2019 @ 5:21pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2019 @ 11:20am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2019 @ 6:14pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 17 Nov, 2021 @ 2:27pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 29 Mar, 2019 @ 7:07pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2021 @ 11:34am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 15 Jan, 2019 @ 5:13pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 15 Nov, 2021 @ 1:39pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 17 Nov, 2021 @ 11:12am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 17 Nov, 2021 @ 7:53am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 16 Nov, 2021 @ 11:26am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 19 Jan, 2019 @ 5:18pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 17 Mar, 2020 @ 1:49pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 15 Nov, 2021 @ 10:12am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 28 Mar, 2019 @ 10:44am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 17 Mar, 2020 @ 4:00pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2019 @ 4:43pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 19 Jan, 2019 @ 5:19pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 22 Jan, 2019 @ 3:31pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 17 Nov, 2021 @ 11:57am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2019 @ 6:02pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 29 Mar, 2019 @ 7:13pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2019 @ 4:44pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2019 @ 3:57pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2019 @ 6:10pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2019 @ 11:44am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 16 Nov, 2021 @ 10:23pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 17 Nov, 2021 @ 3:31pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 17 Nov, 2021 @ 7:35am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2019 @ 6:15pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2018 @ 5:25pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2019 @ 5:24pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2018 @ 5:16pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 14 Mar, 2020 @ 6:07pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 17 Nov, 2021 @ 8:00am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 14 Mar, 2020 @ 6:54pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 19 Jan, 2019 @ 1:11pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 17 Nov, 2021 @ 11:55am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2019 @ 11:15am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 14 Nov, 2021 @ 11:41am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 17 Nov, 2021 @ 12:41pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 14 Nov, 2020 @ 5:48pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 14 Mar, 2020 @ 6:17pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 14 Mar, 2020 @ 6:22pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 16 Nov, 2021 @ 2:22pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

26 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

1 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30