Recent reviews by goowose.mpreg

As a top-tier Patreon subscriber who has purchased both supporter packs, if you really are financially struggling then the time has really come to stop messing around...

• Get the game in a playable state, less Minigolf maps please and more stability, optimisation, and interconnectivity is desperately needed for plazas, condos (long load times, crashes, insane framerate loss as a condo host, etc.)
• Crash to desktop issues continue to go unresolved which should by all rights be largely patched out for 1.0
• You ask for bug reports to posted on the forums and not mentioned in the discord, but the problem is you see is sometimes they either get ignored or buried completely
• There are some bug reports or important suggestions that we keep bumping for visibility from in excess of >6mo ago that either do not get a response or you claim will be working on for the "next update" but do not materialise
• Other times bug reports and non-important suggestions will get prioritised for no apparent reason because you appear to be biased towards a small minority of very specific individuals in the community
• Seemingly lack of proper testing at your end because you often claim bugs to have been fixed when in reality they haven't
• Stop using "Steam Issues" as an excuse on issues you have neglected to resolve
These are the reasons as to why I gave up on reporting bugs

The profile backgrounds were really not worth the purchase and I will not be purchasing a Supporter Pack #3

meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow

Cishets in the reviews be whining about the $9999 "Straight" tag, further evidence if it were needed that the straights are not OK

Prophetic

Greatest
Of
All
Time

I forgot how neurospicy this game was

Melted the ice on my cold, dead heart.

Donald Duck temper tantrums

What the actual f-

Pampered water polo player from NYC gets abducted by biblical kaiju Moby ♥♥♥♥ and is dumped on a remote tropical island somewhere in Southeast Asia, meets up with samurai mentor, sandblasted grease monkey, Pokémon trainer, a man roleplaying as both a Na'vi from Pandora and as a technophobic racist Jamaican fundamentalist, and his BTGGF with many belts. Embarks on a journey to reunite and settle a dispute with his drunken father as well as overthrow the Church of Neo-Luddism. A high priest gets uppity and goes on a nihilism fuelled killing spree in retaliation. Hilarity and awkward laughs ensue.

The infamous real time action RPG that defies and subverts conventions of what an action RPG should be. A weird hybrid of western RPG aesthetic combined with eastern RPG gameplay principles.

Be forewarned that this does not play like a Hack & Slash/Spectacle Fighter/Character Action game like Devil May Cry, Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, or Bayonetta. Nor does it play like a first person open world RPG like Elder Scrolls. It is none of these things. It's more of a slower paced third person dungeon crawler with a metroidvania world and has more in common with the Legend of Zelda.

There is no hand holding, your choices matter, your actions have consequences, and any mistakes you make are permanent. These mistakes might include allocating points to the wrong stat for your character build or attacking or killing neutral NPCs unintentionally or otherwise. Once an NPC is dead, they are gone indefinitely for that save file. This is important to note as you can only gain access to certain multiplayer features through NPCs.

Dark Souls gets a bit of a reputation for being overly difficult but this is not true. Nor is it easy. What it is however, is tough, but fair. It uses death as an object lesson to teach you the rules of the game, what to do, when to do it, when to not do it, and what not to do. You will develop a sense of situational awareness, and adapt to overcome adversity when the odds might at first seem unfairly stacked against you. You can use what you learn in Dark Souls and apply it to day-to-day life. You are going to die, and die a lot. This is normal. Again, death is a key part of the Dark Souls experience. Do not give up, as you have an unlimited number of retries. You are not alone either in your misery or for this journey.

Dark Souls places you in a desolate vertically stacked post-apocalyptic medieval world that is shaped similar to Minas Tirith from Tolkien but is on a much larger scale. If there is something you can see far off in the distance, you can usually travel there. There are multiple branching paths connecting several locales giving you more than one way of travelling to a given area. In the course of your travels, stop every once in a while to study other player's bloodstains to watch their last moments as you might learn something. If another player has left a message at the edge of a cliff telling you to try jumping, you should do your level best to ignore it.

If Skyrim is like a loving father, teaching you to swim at a pace that you're comfortable with and challenging you when he feels like you can handle it, then Dark Souls is like an alcoholic Uncle kicking you in to a pool while your back is turned and showing up an hour later to see if he's going to be in the newspaper tomorrow.