woah thats very bad.

so i didn't play monkey ball, so i don't know if the "original" game was janky like that (upd: no its not) but damn that game is frustating.
first, controller doesn't work, the camera spin, unplayable so i had to play on keyboard but i don't think a controller would have saved this:

- the soapy charachters
very very hard to control because it go everywhere
the maid is so hard to control, i die so much in each level that its just frustating.

- the timer that dont reset
in the game you have a timer and in the normal level you have checkpoint at each bunny, i don't think thats bad, but in boss battle your timer dont reset, and when you die, the boss go back to full healt. so there is time where your are very close to finish it, but then you die at 0:20 and you know that in 20 sec you cant beat the boss, so you have to wait. because the creator had the amazing idea to not put a pause menu

- there is no pause menu
like i said earlier you have no pause menu, so there is no way to reset the level and timer, even a quick reset button.
you cant go back to the hub if you enter the wrong level, you have to wait an exit on the "time run out" screen"
and to finish it, you cant go back to the main menu when you are in the hub.

- the jump pad dont always do there job
when playing some level, i realised that some jump pad just dont launch you. yeah, you have to walk slowly on it, touch the hitbox, and then it jump. so you cant just Sonic roll into it and get launch. maybe its a not so bad idea because the maid is so hard to controll that you will probably just die

- recycle level
don't know what to think about it. sometime you just have the same level but its in the dark so its harder to see.

- impossible boss ???
ok so the boss its very hard, its janky, don't feel satisfing you just got push everywhere. right now im a the level 3-10 and is this game bug ?? the evil maid like grow into this big ball and you just cant push it, its like their are invisble wall, sometime che just casually get "stuck" on you. and if the way to beat the boss is to wait that she get smaller, well, don't let me wait 2 min so that she get back smaller !! you have like already 1:00 or 2:00 to beat her, dont let me waste my time on waiting ! horrible boss fight.

update: the boss is bugged, yeah just the boss is completely bugged if she touch water block. its not a question of waiting she is just completely bugged. thanks dev !
oh also the boss of world 4 just go though the obstacle. it is normally ? is the collision bug for the boss ? no one will ever know but its still feel like its janky

- the boss
i need to talk about it, there is already some big problem like i said on top but while thinking, this is really the best you can do ?? like you just try to push her around. first i need to say its the same bad maid. no diversity.
the second, sometime she push you like 300M while going at the same speed as you (and obviously if you try to push her with mega dash it only move her like 1cm.
and finally, that the best you can do ? they are boring you just wait and try to push her. you could make somethings like i dont know, a big robot where you have to dash into specific part. or some big bunny where you have to jump on top of him, mario 3d world style. but no, you decide to reuse the same maid with purple hair, and just make 1-2 change for each battle. It make the boss boring and not special at all.
also great final boss by the way. being in the complete dark and trying to push her while she has all of her attack.

- your camera is not your friend
the amout of time the camera just show you a wall of anything like that that just make you blind and have to play a bit randomly is unnerving, some time it just make you watch the floor. yeah and you have to play for like 4-5 second so that he can back to normal. 5 second in a level that take 30 to complete its a lot.

- level design/texture
the feel of the level are so boring. its always the same block, it feel like it was made in a mario maker editor but they add only 20 block and enemy. honestly this game could have level editor with workshop. i could show you 2 screen shot and you wouldnt know wich one come from the first world and wich one come from the final. like come on, make diversity. its just boring.

- on/off platform
you like the on off platform in mario ?
well now you can play it again in this game ! but you dont have musical hint/sound. oh and also there is two type of platform with their own rythm.

- animation
yeah so you get crush by a bottle of wine, get pushed into the stratosphere + you die screen.
you are electocuted to death, you die screen.
you get crush by the boss big balls, she just glitch on top of you (dont forget this game is broken)
what im tryng to say is that there is nothing interesting with the animation. there is no animation for being crushed to death, or being electrocuted, falling from high. i don't have nothing to say im starting to feel exhausted about writing this review. just next categorie

- bug everywhere
i have made 3 category and still didn't talk about this. bugs. you think the boss, jump pad and camera was the only one ? you fool. so what do we start ? sometime your charachters don't jumps, you can be stuck between two plate if they are like this " --_ ", your speed feel so random. most of the time you are sonic speed but sometime you are mega slow and you will never know why. there a moment where is lose a level and enter a secret stage as the same time, looping the death screen message.
and also, make the "lose" music not loop. really its so not polish. when the little music play, if you wait 2 second you can hear it again, because its a loop for some reason
one time i was at the final boss, beat it, and lose time because my maid decide to go back. time run out, need to finish it again.

honestly more im playing of this game and more im asking, why so much positive review ? if it was like mixed i can understand but no, the game is in positive. how ? do p**n really sell games ? im not the purest man alive but when i see a bad game overprice just for is p**n i can still see it. this game is a mess that it cant know what was a feature and what is a bug.

and playing it more i asked myself, it this shovelware ? just immagine. you are on switch (we remove the p**n part just to imagine) you want to play monkey ball but its too much money, and then you find this, 8 buck, well i not try it ? its cheaper than monkey ball. and then, this is your experience

its so unpolish, buggy, frustating. i feel like im playing a modern shovelware. its... woah, really woah. i didn't expect it to try a game like this. but, yeah. honestly if this game was on wii and had motion control, this would be it.

some plus :

+ the art is nice
i really like the art, i like the style and drawing. would be a shame that you buy the switch version and just cant get to see this beatiful art and just have to play all the bad

+ Lock N Lewd
yeah its cool but 8 buck for a dlc that add 1 charachters and give money in Shady Lewd Kart is too much

+ the music is not too bad
yeah there are like 3-5 song but they are not horrible, they are not incredible either but its okay.


yeah its not good. i hope the second game is better.
if dev see this comment, please make an update with QoL to make this game a bit more enjoyable. but we know that its not happening.

i think a health system for some part should be good. like in a boss fight if you get hit by lightning or something you ball break a bit and you have only 2 health now, something like that so you dont have to play it with only 1 life everytime. and you knew that the game was hard to navigate because you have a checkpoint for each bunny caught, and the level are far from big so you knew people would die a lot.

very very sad for this game that i was really hype to play.
one of the worst game i've played. dont buy it. get the image online, play monkey ball.