"F o ckin', I was in my kitchen right? Checking to see if my t-shirt was dry right? And I just burst out laughing because on the label of my t-shirt it said George because I got it from Asda" (George is a brand of clothing sold in the UK at Asda supermarkets) "and it was as if every time I leave the kitchen everything in the kitchen springs to life like toy story and his names George. I was pissing myself, just imagine the slagging he must get from the rest of the kitchen like "Georgie Peorgie pudding and pie kissed the girls and made them cry" but then I though nah, maybe not. Don't get me wrong, I have no doubt that his nickname is Georgie Peorgie but it might be one of those nicknames that they don't dare call him to his face like Joe Bananas because if you ever called Joe Bananas Joe bananas he'd f o cking go bananas. Well maybe if you called Georgie Peorgie Georgie Peorgie he'd f o cking go bananas. But then I thought nah, maybe not. Because it's not as if the t-shirt's going to be the hard man" (Scottish vernacular for tough guy) "of the kitchen, that'd probably be the kitchen knife. But then I thought no, hold on. Kitchen knife in a fight against the frying pan? Frying pan would win. Kitchen knife in a fight against the chopping board? Chopping board would win. Chopping board wouldn't even feel it. Chopping boards are made to not give a f o ck about kitchen knives. Kitchen knife in a fight against me? Yes, the kitchen knife would win then but I'm the only one in the kitchen the kitchen knife could win in a fight against. And I just thought that I bet the rest of the kitchen are onto that and they pure take the piss out the kitchen knife, bullying it and that, grog on it. And that got me worried, because it reminded me of those schoolboys in America that get bullied but then they come into school one day and kill everybody. And because I'm the only one in the kitchen the kitchen knife can kill, yes that got me worried. So I just thought, look, you've came in, you've checked your t-shirt, it's not dry yet, just get out and leave him to it. Now I'm not saying that my kitchen actually does come to life when I leave, right. I'm not crazy or anything. But see as I was walking out, see with my frying pan? I gave it a little bash. Gave it a little bash in front of the kitchen knife, just in case." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTfC3YpMDMw