Hello.
Hello and Uno Sarcagian Garibaldian. How are you?

I'm all right.

And uh, Uno Sarcagian for your rates, please.

What?

Alligator Monday was, uh, a holiday I needed your help with...

Who are you calling for?

I wanted to, uh, enlist your, uh, rates, if I would.

For what?

For service. For Sergio Sarcagian.

What service?

Handmade.

Are you talking about a coffin? What are you talking about?

Yes.

Okay.

With cult resources?

Cult resources? What are you talking abou-I am very confused about this phone call.

[door creaking FX] The Sarcagians, ma'am. They've got Alligator Monday on their mind.

I don't know what Alligator Monday is. What are you talking about?

What are you speaking about? Just shoot me an e-lasso, electronic. Can you at least do that for, uh, Sergio Sarcagian "The Desert Diva?"

What?

He's a columnist.

Where?

In Pahrump.

I'm completely lost on this whole conversation.

Can't you clue me in?

No, I can't clue you in because I'm completely lost on this whole conversation. Are you talking about a coffin?

I need rates and I need to have it ready by Alligator Monday.

[laughs]

Work something through, or?

I have no idea.

Let's buckle down here.

[laughs] I don't even...Who do you want to speak with?

[door creaking FX] Sarcagian.

There is no Sarcagian.

Most certainly is, and I suggest you, uh, familiarize yourself with, uh, both he and I. For untold rewards await you.

I really don't think you have the right number and if you do you're just, I don't-I don't even comprehend what's going on in this conversation.

I needed rates and I need-

Rates of what?

Specialties.

What specialties?

Alligator Monday.

I don't even know what an Alligator Monday is.

It's coming right up.

Okie dokie.

What am I lookin' at?

I have no idea.

You're the specialist.

I'm not the specialist of any kind.

I could let you know that I specialize in finance. Need you to get real aware of that. Untold assets. So what, you wanna share the splendor, or?

How did you get our number?

Uh, on a cork board.

We're on a cork board?

Yes. About nautical entombment.

We don't do nautical entombment. Um, can I have your number?

Yeah, it's 888-WITCHERY. [door slamming FX]

888-WITCHERY. Okay, great, thank you.