I've been noticing an unusual trend in the quality of Snickers bars over the last decade. I found an old one from 5 years ago and decided to study its composition under my spectrometer and discovered something unnerving. The Snickers bar currently sold in stores contains 43.67% less rare earth elements by weight, when compared to one sold 5 years ago. Do they think they can fool us? It's hard to wrap my mind around why they would do this. Thorium used to make up 12% of the bar, but now it's at 8%, and now there's only 4% Americium compared to 7% just a while ago. It's all been replaced by organic carbon-based matter, like sucrose and poorly crafted carbohydrates. I'm disappointed in the Mars corporation, and I hope my findings will gain enough publicity to force Mars into reverting back to the old formula. Consider this an open letter.

+rep gave me rude glue for all the tadpoles I have

+rep very cute and good wife

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣉⡙⠛⣉⣉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣾⣿⡿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⣶⣦⡌⠻⡿⢁⣾⣷⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣦⡀⢸⣿⡏⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙⢿⣿⣿⣆⠙⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⠻⣿⣿⣷⣄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⣴⣤⡘⢿⣿⣿⣧⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢋⣁⠘⢿⣿⣿⣆⠙⣿⣿⣷⡀⢻⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠿⠀⣿⣿⣷⣄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⣿⣿
⣿⡟⢠⣶⣤⡈⠻⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣰⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡈⢿⣿⣿⣶⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣰⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣷⣄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣉⠛⠛⠛⢛⣉⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

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That's an awfully hot coffee pot