In the east end of London streets, during the night, from there I was approached by none other, meatclamps, the big clamper and it was a frightening experience. I still have nightmares about it. At first I thought he was one of those Jehovah witnesses, but he darted across to my way, the moment he spotted me, talking nonsense about 99p sushi meals from Aldi and how terrible they were, god awful even, when I told him that I didn't shop at Aldi, but rather Tescos and recommended it to him. He got furious and tried to attack me with his grubby hands and screaming about how Tescos was too expensive for him, he couldn't even afford the 50p bus faire. I chucked my bottle of water at him, it was effective, however, when I ran away, he was scuttling after me, like Uganda Knuckles from VRchat and still crying about the 99p sushi meals. I managed to luckily escape with my life, but I fear for it since he knows where I live and I had to secure the entirety of my house.

My experience with meatclamps has, unfortunately, not been a pleasant one. I first heard about this chap from the paper, where he had become infamous after driving his 2001 honda civic into the local and shouting a bunch of gibberish about midgets, minorities and the welsh on a 4 day ketamine-fuelled rampage. I didn't believe the rumours until I was going for a walk to the McDonalds drive-through, when he crawled out from a drain like a daddy longlegs and scuttled towards me with blinding speed, asking me politely for a 50p for the bus faire. I denied the beast my hard-earned welfare and he turned sour and evil, instead trying to kill me with his horrible, greasy, black fingernails. I escaped with my life, barely, and since then, I have watched in horror as men, women, children and small cars who fail to pay the 50p toll are dragged down to hell, never to be seen again. Do not recommend.

I met this man down a back alley way and he smelt of BO and sadness, I decided to help the man home he started to talk the more he walked talking about how his wife left him because he spent way too much time on a game called big foot. I laughed replying with "you should really get a life then you bum" he proceeded to cry and ask me to add him on steam for some reason, I have and now I'm here, this man is kind but seriously needs to see a doctor about his obsession for big foot as he usually moans down the microphone chanting big foot over and over again. I have since removed flashgitz from my contacts and refuse to meet with him again as he asked me multiple times to dress up as a fury and be his new wife. I have now relocated myself and moved to america however sometimes I feel like hes watching me and sometimes I feel like I can here the suttle chanting of big foot just outside my bedroom window usually between the times of 10-12 on a Sunday.