YourLocalPaladin_'s POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 4:25pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 4:10pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 4:20pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 4:56pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 4:53pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 4:59pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 4:24pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 7:05pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

1 / 30

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

1 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

0 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

0 / 30

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

87 / 1,000

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30