“It has been an unchallengeable American doctrine that cranberry sauce, a pink goo with overtones of sugared tomatoes, is a delectable necessity of the Thanksgiving board and that turkey is uneatable without it.” ~ Alistair Cooke

“Rumors are the sauce of a dry life.” ~ Orson Scott Card

“An ounce of sauce covers a multitude of sins.” ~ Anthony Bourdain

“A good upbringing means not that you won’t spill sauce on the tablecloth, but that you won’t notice it when someone else does.” ~ Anton Chekhov

“In the orchestra of a great kitchen, the sauce chef is a soloist.” ~ Fernand Point

Woe to the cook whose sauce has no sting.” ~ Geoffrey Chaucer

“Art is not special sauce applied to ordinary cooking; it is the cooking itself if it is good.” ~ William Lethaby

“If an architect makes a mistake, he grows ivy to cover it. If a doctor makes a mistake, he covers it with soil. If a cook makes a mistake, he covers it with some sauce and says it is a new recipe.” ~ Paul Bocuse

“What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.” ~ Marcus Terentius Varro

“Great ladies … are like the best sauces — it is better not to know how they are made.” ~ Octave Mirbeau

“I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment.” ~ Erma Bombeck

“The steak ain’t right without the A-1
So I stay dipped in sauce and they come” ~ Mac Dre

“There’s no sauce in the world like hunger.” ~ Miguel de Cervantes

“When I was a kid, for my birthday every year, my mother made me pasta bechamel, which is rigatoni with a white cream sauce.” ~ Giada De Laurentiis

“Rest is the sweet sauce of labor.” ~ Plutarch

“When life is hard and the day has been long, the ideal dinner is not four perfect courses, each in a lovely pool of sauce whose ambrosial flavors are like nothing ever before tasted, but rather something comforting and savory, easy on the digestion – something that makes one feel, if even for only a minute, that one is safe.” ~ Laurie Colwin

“It is better to remain silent than to speak the truth ill-humoredly, and spoil an excellent dish by covering it with bad sauce.” ~ Saint Francis de Sales

“If kids can learn how to make a simple Bolognese sauce, they will never go hungry. It’s pretty easy to cook pasta, but a good sauce is way more useful.” ~ Emeril Lagasse

“I have never seasoned a truth with the sauce of a lie in order to digest it more easily” ~ Marguerite Yourcenar

“You can pour melted ice cream on regular ice cream. It’s like a sauce!” ~ Chris Pratt

“Hunger is the best sauce in the world.” ~ Miguel de Cervantes

“The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin. The next best vegetable is the jalapeno pepper. It has the virtue of turning salads into practical jokes.” ~ P. J. O’Rourke

“You’re looking at that chick like you want to roll her up in a taco and put your hot sauce all over her.” ~ J.R. Ward , Hot sauce quotes

“Short-term amnesia is not the worst affliction if you have an Irish flair for the sauce.” ~ Norman Mailer
“What is sauce for the goose may be sauce for the gander, but it is not necessarily sauced for the chicken, the duck, the turkey or the Guinea hen.” ~ Alice B. Toklas

“Make hunger thy sauce, as a medicine for health.” ~ Thomas Tusser

“Hunger is the best sauce.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

“Mayonnaise, like hollandaise, was invented by the French to cover up the flavor of spoiled flesh, stale vegetables, rotten fish. Beware the sauce! Where food comes beslobbered with an elegant slime you may well suspect the integrity of the basic ingredients.” ~ Edward Abbey

“Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.” ~ P. J. O’Rourke

“The time-honored bread-sauce of the happy ending.” ~ Henry James

“Spoon the sauce over the ice cream. It will harden. This is what you have been working for.” ~ Nicholson Baker

“Some guys smoke. Some guys drink. Some guys chase women.
I’m a big barbecue-sauce guy.” ~ Rick Majerus

“Smother me in your hot sauce woman until smoke comes from your thighs.” ~ Thomas Dolby
“If you’re craving oatmeal cookies, apple sauce won’t do.” ~ Eric Jerome Dickey

“I didn’t have a sweet tooth, but I liked butter, and I liked sauces, and I liked wine and curry and cheeses.” ~ Maeve Binchy

“Give us this day our daily taste. Restore to us soups that spoons will not sink in and sauces which are never the same twice. Raise up among us stews with more gravy than we have bread to blot it with… Give us pasta with a hundred fillings.” ~ Robert Farrar Capon

“You ever wonder when God’s coming back with a lot of barbecue sauce?” ~ Chuck Palahniuk

“I make enemies deliberately. They are the sauce piquante to my dish of life.” ~ Elsa Maxwell

“When I was younger, I ate nothing but fried food. Everything was fried, from oysters to chicken to potatoes to vegetables. When you die in New Orleans, they deep fry you before they put you in the coffin. When we baptize children in New Orleans, we baptize them with a bordelaise sauce; we don’t use water.” ~ Richard Simmons

“It is a pity to make a mystery out of what should most easily be understood. There is nothing occult about the thought that all things maybe made well or made ill. A work of art is a well-made thing – that is all. It may be a well-made statue of a well-made chair or a well-made book. Art is not a special sauce applied to ordinary cooking; it is the cooking itself that is good. Most simply and generally, Art may be thought of as “The Well Doing of What Needs Doing.”” ~ Oscar Wilde

“First you bring the sugar, then you bring the hot sauce.” ~ Kevin Ollie

“I can’t say that I follow a diet plan cause that would be a lie. I love eggs in the morning. I eat a lot of eggs. I love juice. I love sandwiches with protein and veggies. I love pasta with meat sauce. Anything that’s a well-rounded meal, I’m really happy with. As long as there is good protein and veggies then I’m all good with some carbs.” ~ Gigi Hadid

“Who was the blundering idiot who said ‘fine words butter no parsnips’? Half the parsnips of society are served and rendered palatable with no other sauce.” ~ William Makepeace Thackeray

“There is no perfect spaghetti sauce. There are perfect spaghetti sauces.” ~ Howard Moskowitz

“A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.” ~ Frank Carson

“Choices are funny things-ask a native tribe that’s eaten grubs and roots forever if they’re unhappy, and they’ll shrug. But give them filet mignon and truffle sauce and then ask them to go back to living off the land, and they will always be thinking of that gourmet meal. If you don’t know there’s an alternative, you can’t miss it.” ~ Jodi Picoult

“England has forty-two religions and only two sauces.” ~ Voltaire

"I once accidentally spilled sauce on the floor and had to lick it all up, it was the proper thing to do." ~ Me

“That’s why there’s lots and lots of kinds of hot sauces, and not so many kinds of mustard. Not because it’s hard to make interesting mustard – you could make interesting mustard – but people don’t, because no one’s obsessed with it, and thus no one tells their friends.” ~ Seth Godin

“I love disco and we sample it a lot for Duck Sauce. For me, that sound is kind of a new manifestation.” ~ A-Trak

“The perfect bacon sandwich is on white bread, very soft and very thick. Sourdough with a good crust. The bacon is half way to being crispy – and there’s lots of it – and enough brown sauce to trickle down your arm. You’ve not really enjoyed a bacon sandwich unless 10

{Man} Once upon a time there was a lovely princess.

But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only

be broken by love's first kiss.

She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing

dragon.

Many brave knigts had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison,

but non prevailed.

She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest

tower for her true love and true love's first kiss.

{Laughing}

Like that's ever gonna happen.

{Paper Rusting, Toilet Flushes}

What a load of -



Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed

She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb

In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

The years start comin' and they don't stop comin'

Fed to the rules and hit the ground runnin'

Didn't make sense not to live for fun

Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do so much to see

So what's wrong with takin' the backstreets

You'll never know if you don't go

You'll never shine if you don't glow

Hey, now You're an all-star

Get your game on, go play

Hey, now You're a rock star

Get the show on, get paid

And all that glitters is gold

Only shootin' stars break the mold

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder

You're bundled up now but wait till you get older

But the meteor men beg to differ

Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin

The water's getting warm so you might as well swim

My world's on fire

How 'bout yours

That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored

Hey, now, you're an all-star

{Shouting}

Get your game on, go play

Hey, now You're a rock star

Get the show on, get paid

And all that glitters is gold

Only shootin' stars break the mold

{Belches}

Go!

Go!

{Record Scratching}

Go. Go.Go.

Hey, now, you're an all-star

Get your game on, go play

Hey, now You're a rock star

Get the show on, get paid

And all that glitters is gold

Only shootin' stars break the mold



-Think it's in there?

-All right. Let's get it!

-Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?

-Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread.

{Laughs}

-Yes, well, actually, that would be a gaint.

Now, ogres - - They're much worse.

They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.

-No!

-They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes!

Actually, it's quite good on toast.

-Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!

{Gasping}

-Right.

{Roaring}

{Shouting}

{Roaring}

{Whispers} This is the part where you run away.

{Gasping}

{Laughs}

{Laughing} And stay out!

"Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."

{Sighs}

{Man's voice} All right. This one's full.

-Take it away!

{Gasps}

-Move it along. Come on! Get up!

-Next!

-Give me that! Your fiying days are over.

That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!

-Get up! Come on!

-Twenty pieces.

{Thudding}

-Sit down there!

-Keep quiet!

{Crying}

-This cage is too small.

-Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again.

I can change. Please! Give me another chance!

-Oh, shut up.

-Oh!

-Next!

-What have you got?

-This little wooden puppet.

-I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy.

-Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.

-Father, please! Don't let them do this!

-Help me!

-Next! What have you got?

-Well, I've got a talking donkey.

{Grunts}

-Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.

-Oh, go ahead, little fella.

-Well?

-Oh, oh, he's just - - He's just a little nervous.

He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt - -

-That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!

-No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk.

I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.

-Get her out of my sight.

-No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!

{Gasps}

-Hey! I can fly!

-He can fly!

-He can fly!

-He can talk!

-Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey.

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly

but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha!

Oh-oh.

{Grunts}

-Seize him!

-After him! He's getting away!

{Grunts, Gasps}

{Man}

-Get him! This way! Turn!

-You there. Orge!

-Aye?

-By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under

arrest

and transport you to a designated..... resettlement facility.

-Oh, really? You and what army?

{Gasps, Whimpering}

{Chuckles}

-Can I say something to you?

-Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here.

Incredible!

Are you talkin' to - - me? Whoa!

-Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great

back here? Those guards!

They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They

was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made

me feel good to see that.

-Oh, that's great. Really.

-Man, it's good to be free.

-Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends?

Hmm?

-But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by

myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you.

You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit

out of anybody that crosses us.

{Roaring}

-Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that

don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you

definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks!

You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time - -

{Mumbling}

Than I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases eking out of my

butt that day.

-Why are you following me?

-I'll tell you why.



'Cause I'm all alone

There's no one here beside me

My promlems have all gone

There's no one to deride me

But you gotta heve friends - -



-Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends.

-Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest.

-Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?

-Uh - - Really tall?

-No! I'm an orge! You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't

that bother you?

-Nope.

-Really?

-Really, really.

-Oh.

-Man, I like you. What's you name?

-Uh, Shrek.

-Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek?

You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing.

I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. Whoo! Look at that.

Who'd want to live in place like that?

-That would be my home.

-Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a

decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I

like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.

-I guess you don't entertain much, do you?

-I like my privacy.

-You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I

hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them

a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence.

-Can I stay with you?

-Uh, what?

-Can I stay with you, please?

-Of course!

-Really?

-No.

-Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to

be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta

stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!

-Okay! Okay! But one night only.

-Ah! Thank you!

-What are you - - No! No!

-This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories,

and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles.

-Oh!

-Where do, uh, I sleep?

-Outside!

-Oh, well. I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you

don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know.

{Sniffles}

-Here I go.

-Good night.

{Si