Análises recentes de Nohand Katana

I'm still only on Episode I (I watch and play Star Wars in chronological order because my parents loved me) but you can call me General Grievous because I have grievances with this game;

-This game for 100% real no ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ around there are no jokes in this statement no sirrrrr unpausable cutscenes

I get that you can't afford to get the (still alive) OG actors to record more voice lines, so I get that you get new ones in to impersonate them, re-record the scenes from the films and record new ones to fit the gameplay. But did you actually ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ need to also
-Hire people who can't for the life of them sound nothing alike the original, Anakin, Palpatine and Padmé are the glaring examples I've encountered thus far. Padmé sounds like she's impersonating Queen Elizabeth II, Anakin sounds like he's 5 & Palpatine (SPOILZORZ ALORTEZ) use his Darth Sidious voice constantly which sounds farcical while he's pretending to be a nice boi.

-The way the brown capes drapes over the model's back makes them look like wafer thin, very burnt waffles. This with all settings set to max I looked for but couldn't find a setting which could help.
-Odd lack of tutorialization before you're thrown into your first combat, especially considering the gameplay (at least to me) is incomparable to previous entries.
-I really wish I could customize the controls more. For Force users "Q" (using Defaults as an example) is your straight up main saber bonk, Left Click is your Lightsaber Throw. That would itself be fine if I could switch them, I've played games released during this millenium so I'm more accustomed to using L-click as my main attack, "Q" would fit lovely as an alternate attack. However Default controls for shooty-people (L-click to shoot, "Q" to melee) would then be messed up, would be fixed if I could set those controls separately.
-Odd design choice to leave spend time and resources on making sure the plastic injection molding seams are visible in the game
-Please fix Padawan Obi-Wan's "upside-down clay bowl" bowlcut.
-Jar Jar does not have a dumptruck ass, there's not even a glimpse of a cheek

I would like to put forward my final point as a rhetorical question;
If you were to create a title screen featuring basically the whole ensemble of main characters from 9 films, and you would pick one of them as the centerpiece and give them their own "epic" voice line to sum up the mindset of the SKYWALKER SAGA;
-The "Mary Sue"-styled disservice to women's representation as strong main characters in sci-fi which wasted the talents of a talented actress on a generic character on an even more generic "I need to find myself and become strong" journey. A good idea would also be to think her voice and delivery of declarative lines is as good is Gal Gadot, you could then give her a Daddy-issues laced line which would feel so disconnected, considering this character featured in 3 out of 9 of the main films.
-The person who features in a majority of the films, who's character actually goes through a journey of growth, hardship, failure and loss before achieving their ultimate goal. Not to give away which one I'm thinking of, this game contains this character's name in its title.
-The beautiful vixen of a green milk animal

Here are clues to help you arrive at the answer;
-Traveller's Tales picked the only wrong of these three options.
-The No. 1 obvious correct choice does not even feature in the title screen ensemble.

Constrain the cursor to the game window you plonkers.

Booted up the game for the first time in 4 years, less than 1 minute in I got annoyed and quit the game.

Few games make a point of clarifying that the protagonist can recognize a faceless man he's known for less than 15 min. from his asscrack

Be a Pro is such a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ joke

For a game with the accolade as the most profitable media release of all time, it's frankly scandalous that you can't ♥♥♥♥ (properly) in this game.

They put sexy ladies (AWOOGA!) with sizeable milkers (honk honk) in the game, and they just walk around with all that milk that we're not allowed to drink (GLUG GLUG WHOOOO MAMA), truly a clown world.

Design the place where they should put people who push lunch (without asking!).

I'm gonna rip the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ head off!

Eat ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bullets, you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ suck!

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They deserved every ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bullet I pumped in their heads, Chief.

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List of embarassing stuff;
-El Chido intro video
-Protagonist performing verbal fellatio on Sam Fisher
-This game still crashes more than 4 years after release
-AI teammates banter
-This games has us believe that it takes place in something that's supposed to imitate our real world, I have looked all over the key bindings for references to "wank" or "masturbate".