:3

rep+ Hell of a player (MW2)

My body aches, my heart trembles hearing your name. I don't know how I can exist without you but then again...maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm just shambling day to day without that gentle and kind presence of yours facing the cold world alone. I would do anything to get that warm embrace back.

I drag my hollow body into bed without you as I think hollow thoughts after another hollow day. I remember when all of these things were full of meaning, when you were included. Without you nothing holds meaning like it used to, water running through a strainer. It's a fitting comparison, because every day without you I strain myself like a rubber band straining itself too thin until it snaps.

I toss and turn in the night, reaching for a body that once occupied the space next to me that's empty now. It's almost instinctual that I do so because just with the passage of time, your presence (and body) laying next to mine was a routine I grew accustomed to. Like an addict withdrawing from their lackthereof I can't help but lie awake at night wondering what other space you left my bed to occupy

Another month crawls by without you, as if it would otherwise have flown by like they used to when you brought joy, laughter and love to my life I now find only entropy, misery & apathy. Time alone is time in a cell where with you I felt as free as a bird in the sky. Alone with only my thoughts, I'll count the crawling days since I last felt whole again.