thanks for ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ the anglerfish

):

i 8th ur mom out

i post on your page every 8th

patrick bateman: licks a strawberry icecream he got from an icecream truck hm yummy ice cream

his internal monologue: look at me . eating processed flavoring. There is no strawberry in here. It’s but a pastiche of the real deal. An ice cream with artificial flavoring, a momentary joy. Tested countless times in a lab, masquerading as if it’s authentic, genuine. Me and a strawberry icecream are alike in that sense: gentle on the outside, palatable and unassuming. The only difference is that I don’t come with nutrition facts advising of any warning signs concerned parents will scan over, and by the time I strike, itll be too late

AITA For Not Showing Up To My Own Funeral?
So I (74M) was recently hit by a car (2014 Honda) and died. My wife (5F) organized me a funeral (cosfuneral I t $2747) without asking me (74M) at all. I (74M) was unable to make it because I (74M) was dead (17 days). At the heard my dad (15M) and other family members talking about how they wish I could be there and now I feel bad for not showing up. AITA?