Recent reviews by Woozy

Postal 2 is a goofy ass game where you completely ignore all the missions until you get tired of pouring gasoline on people, lighting them on fire, then pissing on them to put it out, then you do it all over again when you complete the missions, because it's damn funny. This game has so many ways to accomplish absolutely nothing, and it's glorious.

Stripped online features are where I draw the line. Do yourself a favor and buy this on PS4 instead.

Everyone seems to be forgetting there's a video game included in this. Dead or Alive 5 is the best in the franchise, and one of the most fluid 3D fighters out right now. With a 34 character roster with almost no clones, there's something for everyone here. The graphics options are pretty bare, only having 3 AA options, different reolutions, shadow quality, and something else that I'm forgetting. This game is a great way to get into the fighting game genre, with a full tutorial, as well as very few complex inputs. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ are overblowing everything so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hard, you'd think they ported DMC3.

Alright, I think I've played this long enough to get an idea of the basic changes from GC2 (no, I haven't seen any of the streams). I like the look for the game, I feel the Hexagons are much cleaner and more slick than the old square layout. The new UI takes some getting used to though. I like how your colony menu with all of the current social projects are now being displayed all the time, but I think the new UI takes up too much screen retail, even on small. A good fix for this would be to add Multimonitor support, so users with extra monitors can move the UI over to their second screen. This would also allow for a much more in-depth UI. Also new are off-planet shipyards, which are self explanatory, really. Now you can have multiple shipyards attatched to an industrial planet, allowing you to produce more ships.

The new galaxy sizes are a lot of fun, but they suffer from being horribly unoptimized. After around 200 turns with all 6 AI opponents and a few minor races on insane galaxy size, on the beginner dificulty, the game almost literally turned into a slideshow in the tactical view. I was afraid the game was going to crash on me a couple of times.

Treaties and alliances have also been changed for the better. There are now multiple types of treaties on top of Econ and research treaties, and multiple types of alliances, making a diplomatic playstyle miles more rewarding and viable than in GC2. I can't wait for UN related techs to be enabled as well.

I disliked the way the game held my hand with passing turns, reminding me that I have an idle colony or ship, and not letting me pass the turn until I did something about it. Ships have a "pass" option, but for colonies you need to have them doing Econ stimulus, research project, or cultural festival. I do however like that the research window no longer just pops up when research is completed, interrupting gameplay for a second.
Speaking of research, I found myself using the standard research menu more than the tech tree (the inverse was true in GC2), mostly because I can't zoom out of the tree to see multiple techs at once. Again, I hope this is fixed in the final game, because I prefer using the tree. I'm eager to play the full version, I have faith that it will be better than GC2 once I get used to the new mechanics.

This is some addicting ♥♥♥♥ right here. I haven't even had it for 2 weeks and I've already played over 50 hours. People tell me this is one of the best 4X strategy games on the market, and after playing, I believe them. I have high hopes for what Stardock can accomplish with GalCiv III. Tons of customization, combined with a lot of ways to win (or lose in my case) makes for a game that's hard to get tired of. The tutorial is pretty unintuitive though, so I had to learn most things on my own (not that that's necessarily a bad thing). A great buy for any price.

Max Payne is a very interesting game. It looks like it was made on a budget of 10 $5 footlongs and a cheap toaster. Max has a permanent constipated look on his face, the textures are really low-res, and the voice acting is sub-par. Those things though are part of what makes this such a charming game. Max's metaphors and similies are like poetry, and the game plays like a dream. The story is gripping, I had no problems getting through it, which I credit to the way it's delivered. The game's cutscenes are almost all in a graphic novel format. You get 4-5 pages of 2 - 3 panels each at the start and end of each segment, 6 - 7 pages of 2 - 3 panels at the end of each chapter, and 1 - 2 pages during gameplay. The shortness of these cutscenes means you're out of them and back in the game in a heartbeat, ready to shoot more mooks in slow motion. Max Payne plays very much like an arcade shooter, with short, frequent encounters and occasional bosses. It's only downfall in my eyes are the dream sequences at the start of each chapter. This is not a platforming game at all, so there's no reason for me to be walking narrow pathways over insta-death pits except padding. Luckily, there are only two of them, and the second one breaks the fourth wall in an amusing way.

tl;dr, buy Max Payne. It's a great value at any price, and a very memorable game.

Fun in spades! Buy yours now.

+Better inventory managment
+Actually functions at 60FPS
+No Games for Windows
+Durability system that actually matters
+Multiple ways to heal, enabling you to save Estus for when you really need it on non-faith characters.
+Doesn't automatically thrust you into NG+
+NG+ makes more changes than just buffed enemies.

-The game is in need of serious culling. There are way too many areas and bosses, some which can be fought almost as soon as you enter the area (Smelter Demon, Dragonrider).
-Gimmick areas like Black Gulch
-Rooms with way too many enemies
-Some of the regular enemies have way too much health (ogres, lizards, and mastodon).
-1 Estus flask to start. I don't understand why they changed this, the system was perfectly fine as it was.
-The ADP stat
-Enemies stop respawning after a certain number of respawns
-Several things feel like an afterthought added just to make the game harder.
-Covenants don't tell you what their purpose is before joining.
-Less interesting world. "Lore" is much more "reach-y" than it is plausible speculation.
-No choice to walk out of the Throne of Want after beating the final boss
-Netcode still sucks.


Dark Souls 2 is 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. It's caught up in trying to be more like Demon's Souls instead of trying to fix what was wrong with Dark, while still trying to be a sequel to Dark. It doesn't have it's own identity, preferring to borrow heavily from it's predecessors instead. Even the game's store description is more about the OG Dark Souls. This new director was caught up in the game's marketing as well, making some things seem difficult just for the sake of it (looking at you specifically, ganksquad and gimmick bosses). With the areas and bosses, I get the impression this guy took the kitchen sink approach, putting every idea he had in the game instead of refining the ones with potential. Just because Dark Souls 1 made some of these mistakes, it doesn't mean this game gets away with it. While Dark Souls 2 is an entertaining game, it's also a very forgettable one as far as a sequel goes, and I imagine people won't be talking about it much when the next entry releases, if there will be a next entry.

At this point they might as well be paying me to play this. How many times has this game been free again? 10? 20? Anyway, you get your money's worth, which isn't much of a feat for 99 cents.

I used a Gamecube controller for this game. I like it much better for this than the Dualshock or 360 controller.

The good:

It's 7 bucks

Fluid, yet simple combat system

Lots of customization options

Level up system provides boosts in stats as well as any stat boosting skill you have

Pretty backgrounds

The bad:

While the combat is fluid, it's not fluid enough. The dodge move NEEDS it's own button and dashing shouldn't be a double tap on an analog stick, it should be mashing the stick forward instead akin to Smash Bros. (though it might not be as frustrating on a keyboard or d-pad).

Escape closes the game immediately, without providing a warning message.

The first boss is a massive difficulty spike. It needs slightly more telegraphing on it's spinning move, and a longer charge time for the laser.

Just guard must be unlocked and bought.

An overabundance of ranged enemies makes the final are a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ nightmare where a single hit can lock you in a 0 to death combo

Knockback needs be removed or reduced

Also the 1.12 update breaks the game apparently. Nice one Edelweiss.

I may have mistakenly installed the latest Call of Duty by mistake. Talk about an hour wasted.