Uziflaona's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 1:14am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 9:03pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 14 Nov, 2016 @ 3:06am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 1:38am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 1:27am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 8:47pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 9:38pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 14 Nov, 2016 @ 3:35am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 20 Nov, 2016 @ 3:30am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 25 Nov, 2016 @ 1:34am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 27 Nov, 2016 @ 2:06am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 8:20pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2022 @ 11:51pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 16 Nov, 2016 @ 12:38am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 22 Dec, 2021 @ 10:48pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2022 @ 10:31pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 9:33pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2016 @ 10:00pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2022 @ 11:49pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 25 Nov, 2016 @ 2:06am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 15 Sep, 2017 @ 6:05am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 20 Nov, 2016 @ 2:59am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 14 Nov, 2016 @ 3:09am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 22 Dec, 2021 @ 11:02pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 14 Nov, 2016 @ 3:30am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2022 @ 10:58pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 1:07am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 14 Nov, 2016 @ 3:06am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 14 Nov, 2016 @ 3:27am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2022 @ 10:57pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2021 @ 9:36pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 14 Nov, 2016 @ 2:31am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 1:29am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 2:10am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 2:14am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 9:09pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 1:33am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 14 Nov, 2016 @ 3:02am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 25 Nov, 2016 @ 1:11am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2022 @ 10:55pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2017 @ 11:54pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2017 @ 6:09am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 11 Nov, 2016 @ 1:44am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 27 Nov, 2016 @ 2:08am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2016 @ 11:53pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 22 Dec, 2016 @ 9:01pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2017 @ 12:24am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2016 @ 12:02am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

29 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

4 / 30

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

10 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

12 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000