don't you dare click on this!



Holla! This job is exactly the position I've been looking for!
Forget all the other candidates for Aviary, I am the BEST.

Organizing ♥♥♥♥? Check.
Calling numbers and ♥♥♥♥? Doublecheck.
Customer support and ♥♥♥♥? Mega-check.
Faxing numbers and ♥♥♥♥? MOTHERFLIPPING CHECK ALL OVER THAT.

Don't believe me? Check this ♥♥♥♥ out:

- I am devilishly handsome: I was Prom king two years in a row with two different queens.
- I am ridiculously smart: I can solve any Rubiks cube in front of your face with my magic fingers. I will bring one to prove it.
- I have pinpoint accuracy: I killed a hawk once with a ninja star (sorry Aviary).
- I am good for office morale: When someone cries I am all sympathetic and ♥♥♥♥.

Need my resume? Nope. Not when you got my FACTS!

- I am honorable: I am the son of a librarian and a capricorn.
- I am brave: I fight crime on weekends. I don't wear a cape yo that ♥♥♥♥ is for PIMPS.
- I am dependable: Just call my name and I'll be there.
- I'll pop in tomorrow to get my paperwork all signed up around 11 am.
No need for an interview, trust me you will love me.
I got your address from google, because my Internet research skills are the ♥♥♥♥.
I actually have been to a spa near your building before a few times so i already know the area.
Love, ravagE :]
PST. My favorite color is TOUPE because it rhymes with DOPE!!