27 people found this review helpful
54 people found this review funny
Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 152.9 hrs on record (67.6 hrs at review time)
Posted: 23 Jun, 2015 @ 12:52pm
Updated: 26 Jan, 2017 @ 5:06am

The true FPS for the master of all shooters. A genius story molded with intense gameplay; you just can't go wrong with this.

There is literally nothing bad about this game. Your points?

1) Your weapons kill you more often than the enemy
If you cannot master your own tools of murder, how can you expect to kill anything else? Let me just say it here: Quake is easy and it's a beginner FPS for scrubs. Why? Because only a few weapons in their arsenal can hurt you, resulting in the player being complacent with their easy-use baby weapons. The weapons in Daikatana are tricky. But what use does a master have for simple weapons? These wonderful murder machines include an ion blaster that shoots ricocheting projectiles, a shotgun that fires 6 time every time you shoot it, a toxic grenade launcher, an earth-shattering hammer, a meteor launcher, a demon-summoning device, a freezethrower, a laser mine turret, and of course, the eponymous Daikatana which can be leveled up independently. Pretty much all the weapons listed above will kill you (or make you want to kill yourself) so if you can overcome their shortcomings, you will be sitting on the throne of the FPS elites.

2) The teammate AI is bad
Bullchicken. These AI are the best in the industry. Never have I cared so much for my ally NPCs throughout my gaming life. Alyx? Elizabeth? All trash. The only sidekicks the FPS master will ever need are Superfly and Mikiko. You will learn to care for them. You will learn the importance of sharing health, armor, ammo and weapons with them. You will learn to respect them for their helpful assistance during combat. You will learn to guide them through the dangerous levels, which in turn will teach you the right way to play. And in the end, you will learn to appreciate them as the best sidekicks a master can ask for.

3) The level design is crap
Pop-Quiz: What is your favorite FPS? Doom? Quake? Call of Duty? They are thrash; nothing more than a bag of red/brown/gray, which only looks beautiful through the use of rose-tinted glasses, or lack of eyes. Daikatana features the best levels ever in the shooter industry; from the swamps of Neo Kyoto to the sandy beaches of Ancient Greece to the snowy valleys of Dark Age Norway to the desolate buildings of San Francisco! These levels will challenge you like never before. All the levels are cleverly designed with a knack for exploration, amazing layouts, and clever item/monster placements. They are not dumb mindless mazes like in Doom, but also not overly linear bullsquid like in DOOM. Everything else will be a cakewalk if you can master these levels on Shogun with only Save Gems.

4) The enemies are not fun to fight
Do you have any idea how wrong you are? Daikatana has the best enemies ever in video game history. You will fight robot frogs and robot mosquitoes to skeleton warriors and spiders of varying sizes to plague rats and rotworms and finally to sharks and Navy SEALs. There will be rocket-launching enemies in close-quarters situation, so you will be on your toes at all time. There will be tiny little buggers crawling about everywhere, so you must be alert at all times. No enemies in video games have ever been as challenging as the ones in Daikatana. Normally, bosses in FPS are lame, weak, and as result, anticlimatic. Not in Daikatana. The bosses here are indeed challenging, and you will be on the edge of your seat the whole time, especially until your climatic final showdown with Kage Mishima, the strongest FPS final boss of all time.

5) The graphics are bad
The polygons and textures here have better quality than your face.

6) The story is terrible
Never before has video game experienced such a magnificent story. Even years after Daikatana's release, Daikatana is still the pinnacle of video game storytelling. You will be happy, you will be sad, you will feel for the characters, but most importantly, you will feel the unmatched intensity of John Romero's design. As opposed to modern FPS where the action is always stopped by cutscenes or scripted events every now and then (looking at you, Half-Life), Daikatana just delivers long cutscenes at the begnning and at the end of levels, meaning the well-paced action will never feel robbed away from your control. The best story-telling technique mixed with the best gameplay designs result in the purest FPS experience ever.

7) The sound is bad
It's bad keeping earwax. Clear them out and then listen to the game's sound again. They are wonderful. Everything sounds like that they should be. The Shotcycler-6's sound has more 'oomph' than Doom 3's and Half-Life 2's crappy "shotgun" noises. And that is only one weapon, out of all 25. The ambience is so realistic, you'd think you really are in Hiro's adventure. The monster sounds badass, as if they are out for your blood (which they really are, as opposed to the wimps you see in Unreal and Killing Floor). There's no better word to describe them than completely immersive. You will learn to fear the robot mosquitoes' presence, the spiders' crawling, the plague rats' squeaks, and the chatter of future San Francisco gangsters. Last but not least, Will Loconto's music is legendary. You'll rock your balls out blasting enemies to it. Futuristic sections of the game have hardcore electro-heavy metal while ancient sections have an adventurous overtone. The soundtrack in the new DOOM is just a bunch of dubstep and guitar noises put into a blender; Daikatana here has the realest music.

8) It pales in comparison to other games
Chuck you, Farlie. You thought Tribes 2 is the most skill-based game ever because it has mortar airshots from incredibly fast players moving across large terrains? Be prepared to meet your new hardest multiplayer FPS ever as you try to use the Metamaser in DM without killing yourself. If you can be a top scorer in a multiplayer match with all the veterans, then you're already a post-human warrior. Your final task then will be to dethrone John Romero from his throne as the King of Deathmatch.


So there. John Romero's masterpiece, misunderstood by the scrubs and casuals of the world who deemed it too "unfair" and "buggy" because they lack skills to complete this daunting task. Daikatana will not be easy. Neither are you in future deathmatch games, if you're able to complete this game unscathed, over and over again, until you know the game inside-out and start making mods for it. Design is law, ♥♥♥♥♥.


TL;DR
play the best or suck it down like the rest
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10 Comments
JewishMayo 3 Aug, 2016 @ 2:38pm 
No words can describe how true this is.
Sibule 31 Jan, 2016 @ 8:59am 
Got a good laugh from this
Cool Skeleton 20 Dec, 2015 @ 4:11pm 
64 hours, the man must know his stuff!
TropiKo 13 Dec, 2015 @ 5:32am 
You should write for IGN
bbaych 23 Oct, 2015 @ 1:04pm 
I really hope this is a joke...
DxD 17 Oct, 2015 @ 1:44am 
I call cash in, the sellout
King of Kino 13 Oct, 2015 @ 11:43am 
lol a fanboy for daikatana the world must be ending:steamfacepalm:
One of these days man 14 Aug, 2015 @ 7:46pm 
@PikaCommando For the record, I realized it was a joke when you said the A.I. was good.
librin.so.1 21 Jul, 2015 @ 5:51am 
@Dekonega
>sarcastic tone
I'm quite sure there's absolutely no sarcasm here, meight.
Dekonega 23 Jun, 2015 @ 1:49pm 
I love the way you write. Your sarcastic tone is just the best. :D: