>Own a spear for self defense
>Hear a crash in the lower keep.
>"What the devil?!" as I grab my spear from wall and charge down the stairs.
>Four highwaymen have breached the wall and are carrying off my jester.
>Impale the first interloper on the end of my spear, it tears his guts out, he's dead on the spot
>Draw my crossbow and fire, missing the second thief entirely and killing the town cryer.
>I have to resort to the two dozen longbowmen on the battlements.
>"Avant, villains!" The rain of arrows shreds two of the men and my fool.
>Draw my sword and charge the last terrified peasant, lopping his arm off at the shoulder.
>He bleeds out while waiting for the night watch since no one knows how to tie a tourniquet.
>Just as God intended.