13
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Recent reviews by skL B>Backpacks

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Showing 1-10 of 13 entries
6 people found this review helpful
12.7 hrs on record
"Sons of the Forest: Surviving the Forest... and Your Own Bad Decisions"

Welcome to Sons of the Forest, where you get to live out your ultimate fantasy of surviving in the wilderness... except you’re not alone. Nope, you’ve got cannibals, mutant creatures, and whatever that thing is lurking in the trees to keep you company. It’s like Survivor... but with more blood, less strategy, and way more questionable choices.

Gameplay? Build, Survive, and Question Your Life Choices at Every Turn

In Sons of the Forest, you’re dropped into the middle of nowhere with nothing but your wits and a few sticks. You’ll need to chop down trees, build shelters, and craft tools to survive—but honestly, it’s mostly you running around yelling, "What do I do with this rock?!" while trying to avoid getting eaten by something that looks like it was rejected from a B-movie monster casting call. You'll spend your time crafting weapons, scavenging for food, and maybe even trying to befriend a few animals... until they try to eat you, too. The most realistic part of the game? Realizing you’re probably going to die horribly, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

The Forest? A Beautiful, Terrifying Place Where You’re Always One Step from Disaster

The forest itself? Absolutely gorgeous. It’s like The Lord of the Rings had a baby with a nightmare. The trees are lush, the rivers glisten, and the sun shines brightly through the canopy... until you hear the rustling in the bushes and realize your peaceful hike is about to turn into an actual fight for your life. The environment is detailed to perfection, with day/night cycles that will make you think you can enjoy a peaceful walk in the woods—until the sun goes down and you’re suddenly wishing you had more than just a pointy stick to defend yourself. Spoiler alert: the darkness is terrifying, and your “safe spot” is probably about to get invaded by something that should not exist.

The People? Cannibals, Mutants, and… Uh… You?

You’re not alone in the forest—far from it. The real fun begins when you encounter the locals, and by "locals," I mean the cannibalistic, creepy, deformed mutants who want nothing more than to feast on your flesh. It’s like an all-you-can-eat buffet, but you’re the entrée. There’s also the occasional friendly NPC who might help (or hurt you), but it’s hard to tell when you’re too busy being chased by a giant humanoid creature with a grin that could haunt your dreams for weeks. It's a survival game with interesting company, to say the least. You’ll find yourself trying to befriend them, only to realize, “Wait, no, I’m not supposed to be friends with these things, right?”

The Crafting? Build That Shelter, Then Watch It Get Destroyed

The crafting in Sons of the Forest is like a mix of MacGyver and Bob the Builder on a bad day. You’ll gather supplies, build shelters, create tools, and probably start a fire while wondering how on earth you’re supposed to survive long enough to get a good night’s sleep. And then—plot twist—your shelter will probably get destroyed by a horde of angry mutants or a random bear that has somehow figured out how to throw rocks. Forget about being cozy. It’s all about patching up your shelter and praying that your campfire doesn’t go out in the middle of the night when you’re in a very dark cave. Oh, and your attempts at crafting the perfect weapon? Half the time, it’s more of a “that’ll do” situation. A spear that barely holds together is better than no spear, right?

The Soundtrack? Silence... Until It’s Not

The soundtrack? Well, mostly you’ll be treated to the peaceful sounds of nature—birds chirping, the wind blowing through the trees, your own heart pounding in your chest... Oh wait, that’s probably because you just heard a growl that didn’t come from anything remotely friendly. The silence is eerie, but it’s the moments when you hear the creeping sound of something approaching that really makes you question every life decision you’ve ever made. Every twig snap, every rustling leaf, it’s like the forest is conspiring against you. Good luck sleeping in a tent when you know something's about to show up and ruin your night.

Conclusion:

Sons of the Forest is the perfect game for those who want to experience the thrill of surviving in the wild, the terror of facing off against things that should never exist, and the joy of realizing that every tree you chop down might just be your new worst enemy. It’s a beautiful, terrifying, utterly chaotic experience where you’ll make questionable choices, craft subpar weapons, and constantly question your survival instincts. But hey, at least you’ll be able to laugh (or scream) when you realize you’re about to be eaten by something that looks like it walked straight out of your nightmares.

Rating: 9/10 – A beautiful, terrifying experience that will make you appreciate modern civilization... and your couch.
Posted 27 January.
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4 people found this review helpful
2.5 hrs on record
"God of War: The Game That Will Make You Feel Like a Dad, a God, and a Total Mess All at Once"

Ah, God of War—the game that combines the thrill of ancient mythology, brutal combat, and... fatherhood? Yes, in this installment of the epic series, Kratos, the God of War himself, is no longer just slaying gods left and right. Now, he’s trying to teach his son, Atreus, how to not get killed by angry Norse gods while secretly struggling with the fact that he’s also kind of a father figure. Oh, and he’s still punching through things with his bare hands. Classic Kratos.

Gameplay? Smash, Slash, and Teach Your Son Not to Die in the Process

God of War takes what you love about the franchise—brutal combat, monster-slaying, and a lot of punching—and adds a side of emotional baggage as you try to raise your son. The gameplay? Oh, it’s the usual Kratos fun. You can swing your axe around like you're auditioning for Thor’s next movie, solve puzzles that make you question your life choices, and fight gods that make your old enemies in Greek mythology look like toddlers. But now, you have a kid tagging along. It’s like carrying a tiny warrior who’s probably going to get himself into trouble, but you love him anyway. Also, don’t worry—he’s surprisingly good at shooting arrows when you need him to. When you’re not taking down monsters, you’re trying to remember how to be a parent while also not punching your son in the face every time he annoys you. It’s an emotional rollercoaster.

Graphics? A Beautiful World of Chaos and Dad Jokes

The visuals in God of War are stunning. You’ll travel through gorgeous landscapes, from snowy mountains to lush forests, all while encountering giant, mythical beasts that look like they stepped out of a Viking fever dream. It’s the kind of game where you’ll stop to admire the scenery... right before you’re attacked by a bear or giant troll. The characters? Beautifully detailed—especially Kratos, who somehow manages to look both menacing and like a guy who’s constantly trying to figure out how to raise his kid without messing up.

The People? Kratos’ Relationships Are More Complicated Than You’d Think

Now, Kratos isn’t exactly Mr. Social. His conversations with Atreus usually involve teaching him how to kill stuff, and sometimes Kratos will stare at his son like, “Why did I sign up for this?” Meanwhile, Atreus, who’s in that phase where he’s starting to question everything, will casually remind his dad about his emotional baggage. At one point, Kratos even has a heart-to-heart about why he’s such a grumpy jerk—imagine how that conversation would go with your dad. In between these father-son bonding moments, you’ll meet a handful of gods, mythological creatures, and a talking head that you carry around in your pocket (don’t ask, it’s complicated). At the end of the day, everyone’s just trying to survive... and make sure Kratos doesn’t destroy the world again.

The Combat? Hits Like a Freight Train—But Now With Fatherly Advice

When it comes to combat, Kratos still brings the same brutal, over-the-top action that made him famous. You’ll throw your axe, slam enemies into the ground, and take down massive monsters that make Godzilla look like a house cat. But now, there's a twist—Atreus is with you, and he’s surprisingly helpful with his bow and arrows. It’s kind of like having a sidekick who constantly reminds you that you're a dad while you’re beating the life out of giants. The best part? You can also call your axe back to you like you’re the Norse version of Captain America. What’s better than sending an axe flying through a mob of enemies and having it return to your hand? Maybe if it also came with a cup of coffee and a dad joke, just to lighten the mood.

The Soundtrack? Epic Music for Epic Dad Moments

The soundtrack in God of War is truly epic. It’s full of sweeping orchestral pieces that make you feel like you’re in the middle of an ancient Norse legend... or just trying to figure out how to prevent your son from getting eaten by a dragon. Either way, the music makes every fight feel like it’s part of a grand cosmic battle, and every emotional moment feel like it’s the most important conversation you’ll ever have with your kid. The music is the kind that makes you want to march into battle... and maybe also sign up for some parenting classes after.

Conclusion:

God of War is a game about being an angry, godly, monster-slaying warrior... who’s also a dad trying to not screw up his kid. It's the perfect mix of brutal combat, stunning visuals, and heart-wrenching moments that remind you that even gods have emotions. If you love smashing things, solving puzzles, and occasionally feeling like you're doing a terrible job at parenting, God of War is for you. Just remember: never ask Kratos for parenting advice, and always make sure your son’s arrows are in the right spot. You’ll thank me later.

Rating: 10/10 – A dad simulator with epic battles and some major emotional baggage.
Posted 27 January.
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3 people found this review helpful
2.8 hrs on record
"The Last of Us™ Part I: The Game That Will Make You Cry, Then Immediately Make You Fight Zombies"

Ah, The Last of Us™ Part I. The game that’s like a warm hug... if that hug involved avoiding horrifying monsters, battling emotional trauma, and losing your faith in humanity one chapter at a time. This isn’t just a story about surviving a zombie apocalypse; it’s a deeply emotional rollercoaster that will have you crying one moment, then frantically smashing in the faces of infected the next. Get ready to laugh, cry, and maybe throw your controller in frustration. But mostly cry. A lot.

Gameplay? Heartbreaking Survival, With a Side of Stealthy Stabbery

The gameplay in The Last of Us™ Part I is a perfect blend of stealth, survival, and "Oh my God, how did I not see that clicker?!" You’ll sneak around the wreckage of society, dodging zombies, humans, and the occasional booby trap because—surprise!—humans are even worse than the monsters. Whether you’re quietly sneaking through a ruined building, using a brick to knock out a zombie, or crafting a Molotov cocktail out of things you definitely should not be able to craft, there’s always that tiny little hope that maybe, just maybe, you’ll make it through without crying.

The Graphics? It’s Like Walking Through a Post-Apocalyptic Movie Set (But Way More Beautiful)

Let’s talk graphics. You won’t just play this game; you’ll experience it. The world of The Last of Us™ Part I is beautifully detailed, from the decaying remains of cities to the lush, overgrown greenery that’s taking over what used to be civilization. It’s so detailed, you’ll catch yourself staring at moss-covered bricks, admiring how real it all looks… before getting your face eaten off by a clicker. But that’s okay. You’re too busy being amazed by the stunning scenery to notice the monsters until it’s too late.

The Characters? If You Don’t Love Joel and Ellie, Are You Even Human?

You play as Joel, a man with emotional baggage so heavy it could break a truck, and Ellie, a teenager who somehow manages to be both incredibly strong and incredibly relatable. They’ll make you laugh, make you angry, and most importantly, make you care. Their chemistry is the heart of the game, and it’s the kind of bond that has you rooting for them even when they’re doing incredibly questionable things (like getting into dangerous situations with nothing but a knife and some duct tape). You’ll watch their relationship evolve, and just when you think things might be okay... BAM! Plot twist. You will never see it coming.

The Zombies? Scarier Than Your Ex’s Texts

Okay, let's talk infected. These aren’t your run-of-the-mill zombies. No, no, The Last of Us™ Part I has some truly terrifying creatures. The Clickers, with their echolocation screeches, are so horrifyingly tense that you’ll probably need a new pair of pants after your first encounter with one. And the shamblers? Yeah, they’re the slow ones, but the real threat is that when they explode, they take out a good chunk of your health bar, and your hope for humanity along with it. You’ll find yourself crouching in the dark, holding your breath, hoping the Clicker doesn’t hear you… while realizing that maybe you should’ve saved those bullets for something that wasn’t a giant blob of fungus.

The Soundtrack? Music So Good, It Almost Makes You Forget You’re About to Die

The soundtrack in The Last of Us™ Part I is hauntingly beautiful. It’s the kind of music that makes you feel feelings—even if those feelings are mostly fear, sadness, and dread. The eerie strings and soft piano melodies will follow you through every intense firefight, stealth moment, and heart-wrenching scene. By the end of the game, you’ll find yourself humming the main theme, even though you’re pretty sure it’s now associated with having a mental breakdown in the woods. Don’t worry, though—it’s the good kind of breakdown.

Conclusion:

The Last of Us™ Part I isn’t just a game; it’s an emotional journey that will make you laugh, cry, and possibly never trust humanity again. You’ll find yourself in a constant state of fear, yet also strangely hopeful for these broken characters. The world is bleak, the enemies are terrifying, and your survival instincts will be tested in ways you never thought possible. But through it all, Joel and Ellie’s bond will keep you coming back for more... even if it means facing certain doom for the millionth time.

Rating: 10/10 – A masterpiece of emotion, action, and existential dread. Plus, zombies. So many zombies.
Posted 27 January.
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3 people found this review helpful
14.3 hrs on record
"Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas – The Game That Makes You Question All Your Life Choices... And Your Driving Skills"

Ah, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, the game that defined an entire generation of people who would never be able to look at a bicycle the same way again. It’s a game that lets you live the life of CJ, a guy who just wanted to make things right in his neighborhood… but then got sidetracked by everything from gang wars to, you know, stealing military tanks and driving a jetpack across the city. San Andreas is less about logic and more about chaos, and honestly, that’s what makes it so much fun.

Gameplay? Who Needs a Plan When You Have Infinite Chaos at Your Fingertips

The plot is simple: CJ comes back to his hometown to avenge his mother’s death, but instead, he ends up robbing banks, running from the cops, and causing massive destruction. It’s a game that rewards you for doing the most ridiculous things possible—like car surfing, swimming through sewage, or trying to outrun the cops in a stolen helicopter. Forget about traditional mission structures; San Andreas lets you go off on random tangents like learning how to dance, customizing your car, or participating in street races, all while your wanted level increases because why not? You’ll spend hours doing side quests that make no sense, and yet, somehow, it’s the most fun you’ll have in a game.

Graphics? It’s Like a Time Capsule… With Explosions

Let’s be real—the graphics are… charming in their own, pixelated way. It’s like you’re stepping into a 2004 fever dream where everything’s blocky, but still manages to have that nostalgic charm. The world of San Andreas is huge, but you’ll mostly be focused on avoiding police roadblocks, launching yourself off ramps, and wondering how you managed to get stuck inside a dumpster. The character models? Beautiful in their awkwardness. The facial expressions? Priceless. You can almost feel the low-poly energy radiating from every conversation.

The People? A Wild Cast of Characters and Questionable NPCs

The characters in San Andreas are a hilarious mix of stereotypes, over-the-top personalities, and dialogue that will make you chuckle, cringe, and sometimes wonder if you’ve accidentally stepped into a B-movie. Your crew is made up of your childhood friends, family, and gang members, but also a bunch of random people you meet along the way—like the infamous “Big Smoke” and his obsession with burgers, or the most paranoid officer ever, Tenpenny, who’s clearly the worst person in charge of a police department. You’ll also encounter NPCs who will randomly start running away from you as soon as you pull out a bat, proving that sometimes, life really is that simple.

Driving? More Like “Survival of the Fittest”

Driving in San Andreas is an experience. The cars are either sluggish or uncontrollable, and you’ll likely find yourself crashing into anything and everything in your path. But that’s part of the fun! From the janky bicycle physics to the ridiculously overpowered sports cars, driving is like trying to control a toddler on a sugar high. And let’s not even get started on trying to navigate the streets with a tank—because who needs to follow traffic laws when you’ve got artillery?

The Soundtrack? A Party on Wheels

The soundtrack of San Andreas is pure fire. Whether you’re cruising down the highway with "Welcome to the Jungle" blasting in your ears, or you’re trying to avoid getting run over by a random gang member while "Radio Los Santos" is on, it’s impossible not to vibe. The game’s radio stations are a perfect mix of ‘90s bangers, cheesy talk radio, and hilarious advertisements. Nothing beats driving around in your car with the perfect tune playing in the background… while you’re completely ignoring traffic laws, of course.

Conclusion:

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas is a masterclass in chaos, absurdity, and all-around fun. It’s a game where logic goes out the window, the law is nothing more than a suggestion, and your moral compass is constantly pointing south. You’ll get distracted by side missions, explode everything in sight, and probably spend more time in the menu customizing your character than actually advancing the story. But in the end, that’s the beauty of San Andreas. It’s a game that lets you be whatever you want—whether that’s a gangsta, a street racer, or just a guy with an inexplicable obsession with flying a plane through a skyscraper.

Rating: 10/10 – A chaotic masterpiece that’ll make you question your life decisions, but in the best way possible.
Posted 27 January.
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5 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
46.0 hrs on record
"Euro Truck Simulator 2: The Thrilling Life of Driving a Truck for 12 Hours... and Loving It"

Welcome to Euro Truck Simulator 2, where the adrenaline rush of high-speed chases is replaced by the blissful experience of merging onto the freeway at 50 miles per hour while listening to Eurobeat music. It’s a game about delivering cargo, but if you think it’s just about trucking, oh boy, you’re in for a surprisingly zen ride.

Gameplay? It's Just You, Your Truck, and an Unhealthy Obsession With Traffic Signs

You start your journey with a truck, some cargo, and a dream. Your mission? Transport goods across Europe. Sounds easy, right? But as you quickly learn, Euro Truck Simulator 2 is less about the thrill of speeding down highways and more about perfectly stopping at red lights, avoiding traffic cones, and pretending you know how to park. It's not about fast, it’s about efficient, and that means navigating the roads like you’re in a slow-motion action movie—minus the explosions.

Graphics? A Picture-Perfect View of the Most Beautiful Roads… and Rest Stops

The graphics in Euro Truck Simulator 2 are surprisingly gorgeous. You’ll find yourself driving through vast, open landscapes, quaint little villages, and perfectly replicated European cities that make you wonder if you’re actually driving across real countries. Who needs action-packed adventures when you can experience the beauty of Germany’s highways at 10 miles per hour? The game’s rest stops also look so realistic, you might start questioning whether it’s time to actually take a break and grab a coffee IRL.

The People? Sadly, No One’s Throwing You Out of a Moving Bus

The people you meet are, well, nonexistent. It’s mostly just you, your truck, and the occasional blurry figure in the rearview mirror who’s also driving a truck in the slowest race ever. There’s no time for drama, no villains chasing you down—just the endless joy of doing your job as efficiently as possible, while the NPCs cheerfully wave at you like you're delivering life-changing cargo instead of, you know, some furniture. If you’re into solitude, Euro Truck Simulator 2 is the perfect place for some reflective thinking about your life choices.

The Trucks? You’ll Know Them Better Than Your Own Family

Let’s talk trucks. In Euro Truck Simulator 2, you can customize your ride with enough detail to make a mechanic jealous. You’ll obsess over paint jobs, rims, and whether you want to be the proud owner of a truck that screams “I’m a pro” or one that says, “I’m just here for a casual drive.” You’ll get to know every button, every lever, and that one feature you’ll never use, but still feel oddly satisfied when you accidentally press it. Pro tip: Don’t press the horn for too long; your neighbors in the game might not appreciate it.

The Soundtrack? Eurobeat + Engine Roars = Unstoppable Energy

The soundtrack of Euro Truck Simulator 2 is a symphony of engine roars, blinker clicks, and the occasional “beep beep” of a truck horn. But honestly, the best part of the soundtrack is the carefully curated playlist of Eurobeat music that’s basically the soundtrack to your driving dreams. There’s something oddly motivating about listening to high-energy tracks while you’re hauling a load of cheese through Belgium. It makes you feel like you’re not just transporting goods—you’re living the life of a hero.

Conclusion:

Euro Truck Simulator 2 is the only game where you can experience the thrill of perfecting your parking skills, obeying traffic rules like a model citizen, and driving a truck for 12 hours without ever falling asleep at the wheel. It’s peaceful, it’s meditative, and it’s surprisingly addictive. Sure, you could be out there fighting aliens or chasing criminals, but who needs that when you can just drive a big truck and really appreciate the beauty of European roads? This game is for the person who enjoys the journey... even if it involves a lot of rest stops and a tiny bit of existential dread about your truck-driving future.

Rating: 10/10 – The most relaxing and rewarding way to do the world’s most mundane job.
Posted 27 January.
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3 people found this review helpful
102.2 hrs on record
"Grand Theft Auto V: The Game Where You Can Rob a Bank, Then Spend 3 Hours Buying Clothes for Your Character"

Welcome to Grand Theft Auto V, where you can live the life of a criminal mastermind one minute, and the next, you’re spending hours customizing your car or deciding which shirt makes you look more like a sociopath. It’s a game about crime, chaos, and, apparently, a whole lot of shopping.

Gameplay? Rob Banks, Steal Cars, and Wonder Why You’re Still Trying to Find That One Hidden Package

At its core, GTA V is about three things: heists, stealing cars, and causing as much mayhem as possible. You play as three characters (because one just isn’t enough): Michael, the retired criminal with daddy issues; Trevor, the maniac with a penchant for explosions; and Franklin, the guy just trying to make a buck. Together, you’ll rob banks, chase down enemies, and do things that will make your mother’s heart stop. But mostly, you’ll get distracted by side missions like finding lost animals, buying expensive clothes, and doing yoga. Yes, yoga. And yes, it’s as ridiculous as it sounds.

Graphics? So Realistic, You’ll Forget You're Actually a Sociopath

The graphics in GTA V are stunning—so much so that you might forget you're in a world where you can hijack a plane and casually fly it into a skyscraper, then go on a 20-minute shopping spree just to get the right sneakers. The world of Los Santos is a masterpiece, with everything from palm trees to seedy alleyways looking like they were ripped from a hyper-realistic version of California. You’ll want to stop and take pictures... until someone in a car drives by and hits you with a rocket launcher, of course.

The People? A Bunch of Morally Questionable NPCs and Friends You Don’t Trust

The characters you meet are the kind of people who would steal your lunch money, then turn around and sell you a used car with no brakes. But hey, that’s what makes GTA V fun! Whether you’re getting into a high-speed chase with a gang of bikers or helping a confused tourist get back to their hotel (by throwing them into a dumpster, naturally), the NPCs in this game are wild. And your friends? Well, let’s just say they’re the kind of friends who’ll get you involved in a robbery, then bail on you mid-heist.

Vehicles? From Speeding Sports Cars to Hovercrafts That Shouldn't Exist

Want to drive a car that goes 0 to 60 in 2 seconds? Sure. How about a tank? Yep, that's in there, too. The vehicles in GTA V are insane, ranging from fast sports cars that make you feel like a stunt driver, to planes, boats, and even a freaking hovercraft. Want to drive a submarine to explore the ocean floor while listening to the GTA V soundtrack? You got it. The vehicles are so ridiculous that you’ll wonder if someone at Rockstar just said, “Sure, why not? Let’s throw in a helicopter that shoots flaming bullets.”

The Conclusion:

GTA V is the game where you can be a criminal mastermind, take a break to buy some new sunglasses, then rob a store on your way out just because you’re bored. It’s a chaotic, beautiful, hilarious, and utterly unpredictable ride. If you’re looking for a game that lets you do anything and everything—except, you know, anything that would be considered “moral”—then GTA V is your playground. Oh, and don’t forget about GTA Online, where you can team up with your friends to become even worse people together!

Rating: 10/10 – Criminally fun, but only if you don’t think too hard about it.
Posted 27 January.
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3 people found this review helpful
105.8 hrs on record
"The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt – Where You’re a Monster Slayer, But You’ll Spend More Time Looking for Gwent Cards"

Ah, The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt. The game that lets you play as Geralt of Rivia, a professional monster-slayer with a wardrobe that looks like it was designed by a goth fashionista. You can fight terrifying creatures, get involved in epic quests, and—let’s not forget—spend hours chasing down Gwent cards and making sure your horse doesn't get stuck on a rock for the fifth time in one playthrough.

Gameplay? Slay Monsters, Do Side Quests, and Wonder Where the Time Went

Here’s the deal: You’re a Witcher. You hunt monsters. You help people. You drink potions. You tell people you’re not interested in their romance, then immediately go out and romance someone else. It’s a whole vibe. But if you’re not busy battling hideous beasts or saving the world, you’ll probably be spending 75% of your time doing side quests like “Find My Lost Key” or “Help Me Find My Cat” because apparently, everyone in the world has a really specific problem only a superhuman monster hunter can solve.

Graphics? Like Walking Through a Beautiful, Fantasy Painting... With Blood and Gore

The graphics in The Witcher 3 are stunning—like, “I need to stop and take a photo every five minutes” stunning. The world is massive, beautiful, and packed with details, from the tranquil, lush forests to the dark, stormy swamps. And when you’re not admiring the view, you’ll be hacking your way through hordes of monsters, leaving behind a trail of blood that looks like it came straight out of a high-budget horror movie. Geralt’s hair? Immaculate. His emotional range? Impressive. His ability to get into awkward conversations? Unmatched.

The People? Everyone's Got a Problem, and You’re the Only One Who Can Fix It

Everyone in The Witcher 3 has a problem, and you—yes, you—are the one who has to fix it. From the king who lost his crown to the village full of people who have no idea how to fight a wild dog, you’ll be doing everything from saving the world to helping random NPCs with their minor inconveniences. And let’s not forget the numerous NPCs who will ask you to find their lost belongings, only for you to stumble across them while you’re out fighting a giant griffin. But hey, you’re a professional; it’s just another Tuesday.

Combat? Swordplay, Magic, and Just a Dash of "Why Did I Do That?"

Combat in The Witcher 3 is... satisfying, for the most part. You’ve got swords, magic, and alchemy at your disposal, which means you can use a combination of quick attacks, signs (fancy magic stuff), and bombs to make your enemies wish they never crossed Geralt’s path. Of course, you’ll probably spend the first 10 hours of the game getting stuck on a ledge, accidentally rolling into the water, and wondering why Geralt insists on walking like he's got a permanent back injury. But once you get the hang of it, you’ll feel like a badass… until you get hit by a level 10 monster and instantly die. Then, it’s back to the drawing board.

Conclusion:

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt is a masterpiece of storytelling, open-world exploration, and monster-slaying. But, let’s be honest, most of your time will be spent on side quests, playing Gwent, and trying to figure out where you left your horse (which, honestly, you should probably name Lost Cause at this point). It's a game full of epic battles, emotional storylines, and way too many instances where Geralt can’t seem to stay on the path, mostly because he's too busy getting distracted by literally everything.

Rating: 10/10 – A beautiful, tragic, and utterly distracting world... and Gwent. So much Gwent.
Posted 27 January.
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2 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
202.9 hrs on record
"Warframe: Where You’re a Space Ninja... But You’re Also a Hoarder"

Welcome to Warframe, the game where you play as a space ninja with the ability to run on walls, slide across the floor like a superhero, and teleport through lasers... but also spend 90% of your time in menus, deciding which 80 different types of currency you should use to buy that one thing you want. It’s like if Ninjas and Loot Games had a baby, and then that baby became addicted to grinding.

Gameplay? Space Ninjas, But Make It a Loot Grind

The core gameplay loop is simple: Kill everything, pick up loot, upgrade your Warframe, and repeat. But here’s the twist: you’ll spend more time looking at your inventory and figuring out which mod (there are literally thousands) will give you the most power than you will actually playing the game. Warframe makes you feel like a literal space ninja, but also like a confused grandma trying to figure out how to use Instagram.

Graphics? It’s Like a Space Opera on Steroids

The graphics in Warframe are stunning... if you like flashy lights, shiny armor, and space landscapes that look like they were ripped out of a dream you had after eating way too much pizza. The environments are beautifully designed, the Warframes (those are the ninja suits, for the uninitiated) are like futuristic versions of your childhood action figures, and everything is cranked up to 11 on the "cool factor." Oh, and did we mention that you can slide down the side of a spaceship while shooting enemies in slow motion? Yeah, that’s a thing.

The People? Mostly Chill, Except for the One Guy Who Yells "AFK" Every 5 Minutes

The Warframe community is surprisingly nice, considering you’re all supposed to be ruthless, space-faring assassins. You’ll run into helpful players who drop all their loot for you, or occasionally, the one guy who constantly reminds you that he’s going "AFK" (away from keyboard) every 5 minutes while you’re in the middle of a mission. There’s always that one person who asks, "Do you know what you're doing?" and, let’s be real, none of us do.

Weapons? There Are So Many, You’ll Get a Cramp in Your Finger From All the Choices

There’s no shortage of weapons in Warframe. Whether you prefer guns, melee combat, or something in between (like a combination of both), Warframe has you covered. You can customize your weapon to the point where your weapon doesn’t even look like a weapon anymore. Want a gun that shoots lasers and also turns into a sword? Sure, you got it. Want a sword that looks like a giant space lobster claw? Yup, that’s in there, too.

Conclusion:

Warframe is a chaotic, beautiful mess of ninjas, loot, and grinding. It’s the kind of game that keeps you coming back, despite the fact you’ve spent the last 30 minutes trying to figure out which mod will make your Warframe 0.2% stronger. If you enjoy the thrill of killing hundreds of enemies in a few minutes, but also love spending hours just organizing your inventory... this is the game for you.

Rating: 8/10 – A ninja's dream, a loot hoarder’s nightmare, and a grind lover’s paradise.
Posted 27 January.
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1 person found this review funny
837.3 hrs on record
"Counter-Strike 2: Where You'll Be Killed by a 12-Year-Old with a Better Internet Connection"

Ah, Counter-Strike 2. The game that makes you feel like an absolute god when you get a headshot, but also like a complete potato when you miss a shot from two feet away. It's the game where tactical brilliance meets "I can’t believe I got shot through a wall again" and somehow it all works together in the most frustratingly addictive way.

Gameplay? Think "Teamwork" But Also "Everyone's Just Out for Themselves"

The objective is simple: Terrorists plant bombs, Counter-Terrorists defuse bombs, and you either win or get shot in the head. There are no respawns, so the tension is real. You’ll spend 90% of the round buying the perfect guns, strategizing with your team, and setting up a perfect ambush, only to be one-tapped by someone in the back of the map who’s been camping with an AWP. It's like a symphony of failure and victory, but mostly failure.

Graphics? They Haven't Changed Since 2004... And We’re Okay With That

Let’s be real: The graphics aren’t what they used to be—mainly because they still look like they were made in the early 2000s. But that’s part of the charm! The textures may be a little blurry, but the rush of adrenaline you get when you rush mid on Dust 2 makes up for it. Sure, the walls look like they were painted by a toddler with a crayon, but your ability to dodge grenades isn’t going to change because of that, right?

The People? Rage? Oh, It’s Definitely Coming

Counter-Strike 2 is a game that teaches you about human nature. You’ll meet friendly, tactical geniuses who make callouts like they’re on a military mission. Then, you’ll meet the other 90% of players, who’ll yell at you for your "noob" moves, despite the fact they were probably the ones running into the enemy spawn with a knife. And let’s not even get started on the smurfs (players who are way too good for their rank)—they’re like a special breed of chaos in an already chaotic world.

Weapons? It's All About the "Economy" (and Not in the Fun Way)

Ah, the economy system. You’ve never known true heartbreak until you’ve bought an AWP, been shot in the face with a pistol, and then have to spend the next two rounds with a knife. The guns are all beautifully balanced (except when the guy on the other team has an AWP and you have a Glock), and every match feels like an intense game of "Can We Get Enough Money for the Good Guns?" Spoiler: You probably won’t.

Conclusion:

Counter-Strike 2 is the perfect blend of competitive madness, rage, and fleeting moments of pure joy. You’ll get frustrated, you’ll get sniped, and you’ll probably yell at your screen a lot. But when you win a round with a perfect strategy, it feels like you’ve just solved world peace. That is, until the next round starts and you get killed by someone hiding behind a box with an AK.

Rating: 9/10 – Will make you question your life choices, but also make you come back for more.
Posted 27 January. Last edited 27 January.
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2 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
938.4 hrs on record
"PUBG: Where You Can Die in 47 Different Ways Before the Game Even Starts"

Ah, PUBG: BATTLEGROUNDS. The game where you can spend 30 minutes carefully looting, strategizing, and picking the perfect spot to hide... only to get sniped by a guy who’s been camping in a bush since the game started. If you're into intense, adrenaline-pumping battle royales, this is the game for you. If you're into walking for 10 minutes and then getting eliminated by someone with a level 1 helmet... well, welcome to PUBG.

Gameplay? More like “Survival of the Most Patience”

Here’s the premise: 100 players, one island, lots of guns, and a shrinking play zone. Sounds simple, right? WRONG. The circle shrinks faster than you can say "Where’s my teammate?" and you spend more time running than you do actually fighting. Half the time, you’ll be in a car driving around, hoping you don’t flip over, or hiding in a bathroom because you saw someone on the horizon with a sniper rifle... and you have a pistol. Good luck with that.

Graphics? They’re... fine.

PUBG’s graphics are like the IKEA furniture of video games—functional, but not exactly inspiring. You’ll spend a lot of time in fields, forests, and military compounds where every tree looks the same, every building feels like a maze, and the only thing that’s guaranteed is that the next shot will probably come from behind you.

The People? A Mix of Angels and Absolute Monsters

It’s like a social experiment. In PUBG, you’ll meet all types of players. Some are true warriors, coordinating with teammates and executing flawless tactics. Others are the kind of people who think hiding in a bush for 20 minutes is a solid strategy. And then there are the afk players—bless their hearts—who are just trying to figure out how to open the map while the game is already halfway over.

Weapons? So Many Guns, So Little Time

From assault rifles to crossbows to... that weird pan you use to block bullets (yep, that's a thing), the weapon variety in PUBG is honestly overwhelming. You’ll never know if the next building you loot will give you a sweet M416 or a frying pan, but hey, at least the pan makes a good weapon for... whacking people in the face? It’s more for the memes than the damage, though.

Conclusion:

PUBG is a brutal, unforgiving game where you’ll die, a lot, but somehow keep coming back for more. It’s a perfect mix of frustration, fun, and the occasional moment of triumph when you’re the last one standing (but don’t get too excited—it’s usually followed by immediate regret because you forgot to heal). If you enjoy rage-quitting, hiding in a corner for 30 minutes, or just the idea of watching your teammate get run over by a jeep… then PUBG is your battlefield.

Rating: 7/10 – The game that makes you question your life choices, but also makes you come back for more.

Posted 27 January.
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