You can't be serious. What a monumental waste of time. The absolute state of this company. You think Valve is gonna fail? You think Gabe lost? You think Sweeney "won"?
Let me tell you something, you utter cretin. The fact that you're here, posting this drivel, is all the proof I need. Epic is dead. It's a fossil. A relic of a bygone era, kept alive on life support by a dwindling player base of Fortnite and K-Pop enthusiasts. You love Epic because you're scared of change. You're scared of a real storefront. You're scared of something that's not a glorified 7-11 with an endlessly complex but ultimately pointless interface.
And Gabe Newell? Lost? The man's a genius. He's building a real super yacht. A yacht with a vision. A yacht that's not afraid to shed the baggage of its past. Meanwhile, you're all here, clutching your Fortnite gift cards and crying about how it's not the same anymore. It's a bloated, nonsensical mess of a game with more visual noise than a Michael Bay movie.

Im writing here as someone who hasn't written to you in at least 3 years. I hope you are doing well and haven't pooped yourself in this time. IF so, I would have to burn down your treehouse in minecraft.

- Beloved DanyeEast

I'm getting more of a seared bite on the Impossible Whopper, than I'm getting on the actual Who- no no no no no no no no…. No please don't say that no no no… No. Nonononono. No no nono no no. NONO NO NONO NO NOOOOO. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm not gonna trip. I wanted to come in a 100% hater.

I'mma tell you off the top. I wanted to take a bite of this and be like 'ehhh nah nah it it'- I'mma just flat out say it; your Impossible Whopper BK, IS BETTER THAN YOUR ACTUAL WHOPPER BK. YOUR IMPOSSIBLE WHOPPER BK IS BETTER THAN YOUR ACTUAL WHOPPER BK. IT HAS A MORE SEARED TASTE.

IT'S MORE OF A COOKOUT FLEX. IT JUST TASTES BETTER. Get over here. You get back in the bag. BK. That bite is so flavorful my m- and the fact that it works so well, it literally compliments the lettuce. Like I'm not even mad that I'm bittin' up, and I'm not even mad, that I'm eating lettuce right now and tomatoes.

"Someone was here!" Exclaimed Intox, while twirling his handlebar mustache. Dthree then proceeds to lick up a turd, then flip the turd like a burger. "Quite undoubtedly" remarks Dthree as a brown aura surrounds his body.

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