Nedávné recenze uživatele Captain chimp

training for the inevitable

needs to be added to the Controlled Substances Act.

I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, "What's 2+2"? And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. Its terrible. Its just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I'll tell you.
First of all the number 2, by the way I love the number 2. It's probably my favorite number, no it is my favorite number. You know what, it's probably more like the number two but with a lot of zeros behind it. A lot. If I'm being honest, I mean, if I'm being honest. I like a lot of zeros. Except for Marco Rubio, now he's a zero that I don't like. Though, I probably shouldn't say that. He's a nice guy but he's like, "10101000101", on and on, like that. He's like a computer! You know what I mean? He's like a computer. I don't know. I mean, you know.
So, we have all these numbers and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that? We can times them OR divide them, they don't tell you that, and I'll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn't believe it. That I can tell you. So, we're gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me. OK? Alright.
"We gonna knock the hell out of ISIS, believe me,"
Thank You, Thank you, Thank you.

The sequel always sucks

Man, this Hitler guy is up to no good. I hate this, I can't take any more of this. I don't know what I'm gonna do… What am I gonna do? I'm Hitler's top guy. What am I gonna do? Adolf Hitler chose me to lead the revolution!

I use a combination of lies, manipulation, cheating, stealing, gas-lighting, bullying, insulting and flexing to make sure everyone in my office stays under my thumb where I want them.

5G is literally going to be a nightmare every time I hear about smart cities and getting rid of broadband for gigabit wireless internet in every house and filling up those houses with smart refrigerators and ovens and thermostats and water heaters and door locks and cars I wish I could just wake up screaming and sweating and then realise it's all a bad dream and go back to sleep. Forget about home WiFi forget about being able to route all the network traffic coming out of your home thru a VPN or selecting your own DNS servers or MAC filtering we're just handing over all of our network security to AT&T and Verizon and every thing in your life is gonna have a 5G modem and a smart assistant A1 constantly listening to you and it's all gonna be accessible from the internet and it's all gonna be sending recordings of everything we're doing to Google and Apple and Amazon and when the e waste piles up and the cobalt mines run dry and the Amazon data centres that store all the audio files take up an area the size of 12 states and there's not enough fossil fuel on the planet left to burn or renewable energy to collect to power all this I guess we'll all sit in the ruins and remember how much fun it was to tell Alexa to lock and unlock the front door over and over just for the novelty of it

this game allows me to live my dream; terrorising tax paying citizens in low income neighbourhoods with tickets for minor traffic infractions

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