Captain chimp
Veteran, Scholar, World Edging Champion 2009   Vidin, Vidin, Bulgaria
 
 
My name is David Michaelson. I’m 53 years old, a lifelong gamer from Bulgaria, and I’ve spent the last 35 years submerged in the haze of my own choices. My mind, once sharp, is now deteriorating under the weight of Discongulated Neurosis, a disease triggered by years of macro-dosing LSD. The doctors tell me I have no more than four months to live if an experimental surgery doesn’t succeed. The clock is ticking, and the shadow grows closer.

There’s little left for me now, but one last thing: I’ll spend these final months gaming, living in a digital world where nothing feels real and everything can be escaped. I’m reaching out to anyone who might still care, to anyone who might want to share the last of my time, a "hot girlfriend" you might say. There’s little hope left for me, but I’m still here, still fighting.

If anyone is out there who can understand, who can share this brief moment before it’s all gone, I’m waiting. Time is the only thing I have left, and I’ll take whatever fragments of it I can get.
My Specs
Monitor: Emerson SpongeBob SquarePants 13" CRT Television

Headset: TSh-4M

Keyboard: KB Gear Learning Keyboard Featuring Disney's Winnie The Pooh

Mouse: VW Beetle Sports Car Mouse Wireless Mouse

PC: Dell Dimension 433SV

Processor: 1.7-GHz Intel Pentium 4 (Fastest processor in all of Bulgaria)

Ram: 256 MB memory

GPU:64-MB Nvidia GeForce2 MX graphics accelerator

HDD: 37.25-GB hard drive

Webcam: RED V-RAPTOR XL [X] w/canon ef 70-200 mm lens

Desk gun: Glock 19 Gen 5 w/switch

Personal specs :seriousins:

Height: 6'7

Weight: 275lbs

Bench press: 550lbs

Net-worth: $9'000'000'000

TIME Magazine Man of the year 1938

Total owed in child support: $0 (all of my baby mama's have gone missing :lunar2019coolpig:)

Misdemeanor charges: 14

Felonies: One

Years spent behind bars (so far): 1
Favorite Group
Special Needs Islamic Gamers: Embracing Diversity, Building Community
20
Members
0
In-Game
10
Online
9
In Chat
Artwork Showcase
Me and the Boys
1
Review Showcase
This game is a masterpiece. The audio, the visuals, the gameplay and the characters. The dialog made me cry. I've played this game twice already and both times I had a completely different experience. It's beautiful, and I will continue playing this game until the end of me. I bought a whole new gaming PC, two GTX 1080 TIs, an i9 7900X, 128 gigabytes of RAM, making sure I can play this wonder at 8k 144 FPS. I don't just recommend this game, I'm telling you to play it. If you don't, you are missing out on the reason humans exist. Every single person should play this game. I will fight wars to make sure people can continue playing this game. I have stayed in my room since this came out, which is the day I wrote this, and I haven't talked to anyone except the NPCs in this game. I think this is the next step in human evolution. We will eventually all be plugged into a machine, like in the movie, "The Matrix", where this beautiful masterpiece will be our life. Every day, we will wake up in heaven. Every night, we will go to sleep on the copy-pasted textures on the ground. That soon will be the glorious reality, the reality we are meant to be in. Download this game right now, it should only take you a second, and play it. Enjoy it. Live it.
Screenshot Showcase
Recent Activity
1.9 hrs on record
last played on 11 Jan
337 hrs on record
last played on 11 Jan
242 hrs on record
last played on 9 Jan
Cream Corn Lover 25 Dec, 2024 @ 1:49pm 
Allah shall bless you.
korean gatorade 42 19 Dec, 2024 @ 12:24am 
allah bless
Captain chimp 18 Dec, 2024 @ 1:33pm 
Allah has forgiven me for my past sins for converting many infidels, and annihilating the nonbelievers like yourself. قم بإعداد فتحة الشرج الخاصة بك للحصول على حقي في العدالة :m67:
NNNMAN ⁧⁧🔊*🎮🏆⏫ 18 Dec, 2024 @ 1:27pm 
YOU will see HELL because Allah gets you
NNNMAN ⁧⁧🔊*🎮🏆⏫ 18 Dec, 2024 @ 1:26pm 
As Moslem your are A JOKE i saw you EAT Swine Meat and BURN the QURAN
Captain chimp 18 Dec, 2024 @ 1:26pm 
My child, I hope that you find purity before the one true savior Allah strikes you down with lightning