Recent reviews by Centinexslays

This was not what I expected as I normally only like FPS's, shiny things and loud noises. But this made me have happy feelings. I cannot read, so I didn't know what was going on most of the game, but I had a blast making my own sound effects and pretending I was shooting the bad guys with shooty guns like in my favorite FPS.

My dad caught me playing this game and he was happy. He changed my drool cup twice that week. It was awesome. Now that I have successfully gotten past the character creation screen, I have decided to give this game a rest for a while. I am going to spend the remainder of my years playing as many CoD sequels as they will make. I really like the soldier guys and making shooties at other soldier guys. Also, I think Activision cares about me and would never hit me like dad when he's been drinking.

5 out of 5 circles!

Also if you like this game you should see my bike! Mom says I can ride it anywhere I want as long as I don't leave the yard. CoD 4 life!

0 out 10 score... for 0 out of total gore.

What a bunch of wimps. Bethesda + Wolfenstein + ID somehow = PG-13?

Tell your grandmothers. They'll be elated.

I want my money back. I don't like aspartame with my violence, and I am putting my foot down. You make an FPS that takes up 50 gigs, and you can't even throw in some kind of gratifying response to shooting someone after they fall? I'll bet Tipper Gore is currently writing the developers' names in her study hall notebook with little heart doodles around them.

Seriously guys. Way to disappoint.

PS.. I'll bet a bunch of wimpy neo hipster beta males are going to start crying over this well worded and highly informative review. *sigh* Why do I even bother?

Dearest Butthurt Crap PC owners and spoiled Y generation instant gratification seeking pessimists,

Please stop writing reviews. Being a PC enthusiast, I had to cringe in complete disappointment during one of my usual "PC IS BETTER THAN CONSOLE" rants when I had learned that DR3 would be an Xbox exclusive a while back.

In response to all the "ANGWY WEVIEWS" I am seeing splattered all over the place regarding this game, I'm going to have to ask some of you to be honest with yourselves (as well as the rest of the consumer market in which you feel so entitled to soil with your underqualified opinions). And I wil do so by asking you a couple of questions...

1. Are you aware that the game has JUST been released for PC.. as in ONE DAY ago?

The reason I ask.. is because BUGS ARE EXPECTED TO HAPPEN upon a game's initial release. You are essentially a beta tester at this point. Sure they test as much as they can... But they can't truly anticipate a lot of problems (as well as come up with patches) until the game has been played by MANY PEOPLE, with MANY different setups (hardware and software alike), and the problems have been reported.

2. Do you read the recommended specs forgames before you buy them?

Because something tells me that you do not. I read some of your specs... and wow. Just wow. The game recommends a 7970 (AMD). Now I am running 2 of them (Ghz editions) crossfired (which can sometimes cause problems in itself) with an FX8350 OC'd to 4.5 ghz and 16gb of 1866 ram on a Sabertooth board with the bios as well as my OS optimized to high hell. You ARE aware that this is a NEXT GEN game, correct? That means that they will be pushing for things that are a lot more taxing on your rig. Considering many of you are rocking extremely weak cards as well as extremely weak CPUs with extremely shoddy setups... I am beyond livid to know that you are reflecting poorly on the decision for DR3 to be ported to PC. That's what we need... More companies getting cold feet about providing PC ports.

Next time, just complain to your parents until they have no choice but to cave in and buy your spoiled a$$ a new updated rig, as the only means to not have to spend another second listening to you complain like the "super sweet sixteen" star that you've become.


NOW ON TO MY EXPERIENCE! (Yay!)

I was overcome with joy when I found out that they have decided to right the wrong and give us PC peeps a crack at the latest addition to this franchise. So I pre-ordered it and grit my teeth and decided to hope for the best and just be grateful that PC gamers were granted the right to hack up some next gen zombies while wearing suggestive female swimwear and a welding helmet.

I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED.

I have experienced two crashes between COUNTLESS hours of playing... A couple small bugs and glitches... and load times that are a little longer than usual... But that's about it.

And honestly? I'm not even mad, bro. Not mad one bit. Why? Because I didn't eat paint chips as a kid. I know that there will be some bugs upon release... I expected more crashes, tbh.... And as far as the load time goes... I don't find it surprising considering how much that game has to process at all times.

That being said... This game absolutely rules on so many levels. Everything I loved about DR2, and so many convenient changes that ACTUALLY give the players what they wanted (unlike many other ballsy attempts to reconstruct a long awaited sequel based on soulless perma-nerd marketeer number crunching) *coughs*DRAGONAGE2*coughs*

Let me also welcome everyone to one of the first true NEW GEN games to arrive. The improvements aren't as noticible to some at first... But I assure you, they are there. For example... I was MIND BLOWN upon realizing that while the detail and graphics of the game have substancially increased in quality in comparison to very recent titles of last gen... They were able to spam out so many individual zombies simultaneously and at GREAT distances. The abillity to do that is beyond impressive. (No wonder most of your toasters are fizzing out to this game)

The game itself is flat out FUN. Best purchase in years for me. Worth EVERY PENNY.

It is a lot darker than part 2. But still retains the same slappy/morbid humorous qualities that made part 2 so damn charming.

They have simplified some things to make it a smoother and faster ride, such as making combo weapons on wherever you are without needing a work bench.

The attribute system is killer.. the game offers a LOT in terms of replay value. I have put SOOOOOO many hours into the game so far and intend on spending many more as soon as I finish this review.

Co-op flat out rules on many-o-level. There's something magical about randomly trashing a hotel room with a random visiting silent stranger and doing things that would suggest that both of you just happen to have a severe mental disorder.

The combat is solid. A bit more control than the last installment. Very smooth. But also very similar, so no complaints there.

The cars and car combos are a really fun touch. They let you continue getting attribute points after you hit level 50 (with awesome bonus perks that are exclusive post lvl 50 players). This is awesome because.. well.. again.. REPLAYABILLITY FTW.

I could go on forever about the game... But I lost my will to keep typing a while back when I started thinking about all these whiney stupid kids and their inferior crap machines/ misguided hatred.

To the developers and suits that made this game possible for PC.. Thank you so much. I mean that. I wasn't planning on buying a crapbox... so you have made be believe in humanity again.

So yeah.. Get DR3... Or I'll be forced to buy a thousand more copies just to make sure that you haters don't prohibit amazing titles from reaching PC in the future. 10/10

PS... Seriously.. I really want to start handing out swirleys charlie horses after reading half of these reviews.

PSS... I wore a dress and beat a zombie with a purse for five minutes straight and regret nothing.

Honestly? I really enjoyed it. All 1 hour of it.

Very unique and refreshing... Unfortunately, I have to say that the starting price can be considered a bit harsh in the scheme of things. I paid around half price and feel ripped off and at the same time.. I feel that it was definitely money well spent.

Think of it this way.... This is an amusement park ride. It may be overpriced... It may be over before you know it... But at the end of the day... You got to ride that bad boy. Definitely unique and very refreshing. Wish they would have added about 10,000 times more to it. I love the idea and if there was a sequel I'd totally pick it up. Maybe the large price was part of the game design lol. "OVERPAY OR UNDERPAY! OR BOTH!"

Anyways.. I'd suggest it to anyone who is looking for a short lived yet rewarding experience. Think of it as paying 10 bucks for you and your kid to go see an Elephant at a local fair or something. Surely 10 bucks isn't "worth it" if you give fun an hourly wage. But if it's something you wish to experience.. You can't really put a price on the hard work the developers put into this.

So again... I overpaid and underpaid at the same time. And I suggest you do the same... or don't.

.... Has this game ruined me???

Possibly the best expansion to Farmville to date!

Borderlands 2 takes off where Farmville leaves you wanting more! Ever wanted to have the redundant upkeep that farmville offers, but the mindless casual gaming experience of a first person shooter? WELL WISH NO MORE! For Borderlands 2 offers you that and much much more!

Not only can you farm in first person POV, but by stroke of pure genius Gearbox and 2K games have managed get rid of pesky dialogue and storylines that seem to clutter up so many titles of any (AND EVERY LOL) genre. Farm endlessly to get an EVEN BETTER WEAPON than before! Now you can use this weapon to continue mindlessly pressing right trigger (Left mouse button for stupid PC enthusiasts) in order to get an EVEN BETTER GUN! Once you have the desired gun of choice... YOU CAN MINDLESSLY PRESS RIGHT TRIGGER AGAIN AND DO IT EVEN BETTER THAN THE LAST TIME!

I personally get disgusted when development teams take the time to clutter up your gameplay experience with a purpose. Who even needs that??? And what's even better? Assuming you haven't hung yourself in your closet after realizing that your life has hit a new low... You can even explore NEW MAPS! These maps will consist of more WoW tier missions such as "GO TO OTHER SIDE OF MAP AND GET GUY WITH GUN", "SHOW UP AT LOCATION AND MAKE SHOOTIES AT THIS GUY!", and who can forget the timeless classic mission "GO ACROSS MAP AND PRESS RIGHT TRIGGER OVER AND OVER AGAIN!" (still stuck on that mission, btw).

If these unique features weren't enough, 2K games and Gearbox have made it a point to upgrade the graphics substancially from "Silly and cartoonish" to "Silly and cartoonish + PhysX" for the percentage of the population that invested in an Nvidia card! That's right! You can now see small additional details while you are farming and pressing right trigger on endless loop!

The first time I played this game I was a little disappointed, as Gearbox decided to not allow me to import my Red Pepper fields directly from Farmville. But after a while I grew to like it even more! Now I have six pistols (ALL IN WHICH FIRE ANY TIME I PRESS RIGHT TRIGGER), Several items that give you health regeneration (FOR WHEN YOU NEED TO FARM JUST A LITTLE LONGER BUT DON'T SEEM TO HAVE THE HEALTH RESOURCES TO DO SO), and of course multiple types of grenades (FOR WHEN YOUR RIGHT TRIGGER FINGER IS SLIGHTLY SORE FROM EXCESSIVE USE)!

They even added the illusion of an RPG element to it by letting you level up and add all sorts of trivial stat boosts to your character! This way you can pretend to relate when people discuss wordy role playing games with you. I personally have never been able to make it past the opening credits on a game like that.. TALK ABOUT BORING LOL!

I also recommend this game to anyone who especially favors colors, sounds, loud noises, bright flashy lights, or when people make silly faces at you (SOMETIMES DAD CAN MAKE ME LAUGH A LOT WHEN HE MAKES A SILLY FACE AT ME LOL!!). This game will leave you on the edge of your wheelchair and ALWAYS screaming for more (which often sounds like "MOM I POOPED AGAIN")!

I give Borderlands 2 "FIVE DROOL CUPS UP" for combining my favorite facebook RPG (Farmville), and my favorite doctor prescribed activity to improve on my relatively impaired motor functions. With any luck, we will rid the world of games with substance, and get everyone on a healthy rotation of charismatic cartoony CoD clones!

They should have called this "Sims RPG -The Hellen Keller POV Experience"

Not only did they cleverly decide to merge Fable with the Sims by changing the interactions into a cut scene of moronic sims-like displays of affection.... But the team apparently got wasted and accidentally ported the beta to PC. This pile of fail has the worst framerate, display, and performance issues out of any game I've ever played..

Remember when Fable 1 came out? Well clearly Lionhead Studios do not. On a higher note, Fable 3 has become my number one benchmarking tool for my manic depression.

"I'M A THROWER!"

Finally a game where they did the right thing and made the beefiest jock on the block an expert "Thrower". I won't stress too much on the rest of the game as it's basically Zombie Cry 3 (With new and improved extra retarded physics), but I will focus on how cool it is to control a muscle bound freak who apparently is only good for throwing ♥♥♥♥. Find a sweet lamp? Killer! Throw it at something! Stumble upon a solid coat rack? Well maybe it's high time you should chuck that at the first thing that moves! Find a broken down car on the side of the road? Too bad... He can't throw those (- 1 star).

Basically, he is a big wuss who for some reason has dedicated his late night workout sessions to strictly building up exclusive body parts that aid only in throwing stuff. Don't try punching. He can't do that very well... And the 80 pound chick has better right hook with a battle axe.

BUT NOW.... LET'S SAY THEY WERE GOING TO THROW THE BATTLE AXE...

YOU GUESSED IT! THE THROWER WOULD DOMINATE ALL THE WAY!

This game also includes things like, zombies, and trendy stuff, and more zombies, and trendy zombies.

All in all, I had a really fun time playing the game. Mainly because I'd get to engage in conversations with random people on multiplayer and redundantly spam "I'M A THROWER, WANNA THROW?" until they stopped believing that I was joking around and defaulted on the possibility that I may have severe brain damage.

Also... For extra fun... Stand there punching... And watch the shadows.

Hands down.... The most abstract depiction of physics I've ever had the privilege of seeing. Some of these physics belong in an art museum.

So yeah... Get the game and get ready to....... THROW DOWN! HAHAH GET IT?

I really enjoyed playing this game. But I found it insulting that no matter how big I built my city, dangerous minorities never came in to destroy it. It gave you the power to cause earthquakes and other natural disasters. You could even unleash a giant robot to destroy your city.. But not one single act of gang violence throughout the entire game. Get your act together EA. If I take the time to build an enormous city.. I want to be rewarded with realism. We want crips and bloods.

This game has an interesting concept. Basically you plant towers to defend your base. It's hard to explain.. but there's a lot of towers and you have to use them as a means of defense... I wish they had a name for such a genre... But unfortunately they don't. So for now we'll just call it "A game where you use towers as a defense mechanism". Maybe my new genre title will catch on and they'll release more games like this. 10/10 for originality.

Not a bad little game.. But it should be called "Gears of Orcs".