Centinexslays
David (The Yellow Dart) Schell   Bourbonnais, Illinois, United States
 
 
My story is somewhat of a cliche. I was raised by a one legged goat herder and his sister-wife in a desolate area of the map that you would most likely not be familiar with. I unknowlingly started my affinity for gaming by stacking milk buckets, as well as running from wild packs of stray dogs in between chores.

One day I was overlooking the livestock and I noticed that they seemed to be fascinated with some new activity that I had never witnessed before.

That something was "Call of Duty 2". It turns out that my father had went into the big city to update the farm with some new activities to keep the goats occupied during the depressing stretches of time when the females were not in heat.

Although the mysterious glowing machine (that I would proudly one day refer to as "A computer and monitor") was mesmerizing to me at the time, I couldn't help but notice the simplicity of the simulation that they were actively engaging in. Most of the goats started advancing in rank despite their limitations due to their lack of fingers and cognitive awareness. Eventually I gave it a shot myself (lol I know.. sounds silly). I was shocked to find that I was slightly better than not only the goats, but the majority of prepubescent city children who were actively participating on what I now know to be "the internet".

As I practiced and practiced at the formulaic and redundant patterns required to get the split second drop on my opposition, thus winning by a solid kill or more... I noticed that I had developed a skill that one could even say trumps handling even the most intense and difficult goat milking sessions that you could imagine.

After a substantial amount of time had passed, and at the humble age of 47, I had decided to break the news to my father. I had made my decision to go pro and leave the farm. That is when I got a steam account.

Now I have been cultured by "Big City Life" and know how to properly play a multitude of other video games. Such as "Call of Duty: Black Ops", "Call of Duty 3", "Call of Duty 4", and COUNTLESS other DLC expansions.

I am actively known for being what is commonly referred to as a "Gamer". I have met many other amazing people (mostly women and children) who share the same love for these amazing and innovative games that I do.

Best decision of my life.
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Comments
Centinexslays 20 Dec, 2013 @ 8:50am 
Well thank you, sir. Feel free to add me. That way you can have access to my private reviews. lol. I had to make a bunch private in fear of effeminate wimps flagging them as "Butt hurtable and scawy".
Captain Warbear 20 Dec, 2013 @ 1:09am 
I just read your review of Dead Island. My hangover feels a lot better now. Just thought I'd let you know. Thanks.
Centinexslays 5 Dec, 2013 @ 11:04am 
GTA MONEY IS MY FAVORITE KIND OF MONEY!
coolcole01 30 Apr, 2013 @ 8:18am 
oops gta4
coolcole01 30 Apr, 2013 @ 8:18am 
Trying to get GTA$ to run right is starting to make me not like it as much
cosvak 12 Dec, 2012 @ 9:13pm 
Let me tell y'all ♥♥♥♥♥♥ about Opisthocoelicaudias...