A little kid went up to Santa and asked him, "Santa, you know when I'm bad
right?" And Santa says, "Yes, I do." The little kid then asks, "And you
know when I'm sleeping?" To which Santa replies, "Every minute." So the
little kid then says, "Well, if you know when I'm bad and when I'm good,
then how come you don't know what I want for Christmas?"
😲
[Lois is upset about a cult that is worshipping Peter]
Peter: Don't worry Lois. I'll handle this. I read a book about this kind of thing once.
Brian: Are you sure it was in a book? Are you sure it wasn't... nothing?
Peter: Oh, yeah.
😗
If we want something nice to get born in nine months, then sex has to
happen. We want to have the kind of sex that is acceptable and fun for both
people, not the kind where someone is getting screwed. Let's get some cross
fertilization, but not someone getting screwed.
-- Larry Wall
😘