"I have a confession to make," whispered Claudette, as she took off her glasses and shook out her dreadlocks. "I want to teach you so much more than Botany Knowledge..."

Claudette, I love you, but I'm writing a serious review here. I've already posted questionable fanfiction once, and I don't think I can get away with that meme twice in a row.

"Oh. Maybe later?"

Sure thing. Call me!

...

This is an online asymmetric multiplayer survival horror game. I got interested in this through watching streamers play it on Twitch, but it sat in my library a long time before I started playing it regularly. My favorite streamer invited me to a Survive With Friends match, and I've been enjoying it so far since then.

The Entity lives in the Fog, and wants to play a game. It collects interesting souls and pits them against each other in a Trial: Four mortal survivors, one immortal killer. It's meant to be a balanced contest, as the Entity psychically feeds off this process, because reasons. Each map has junked portable generators and hanging meat hooks scattered around: The survivors need to repair five of the generators to power the electric gates and open the exits; the killer needs to sacrifice them on the hooks. It seems simple enough, but it gets deep as more survivor and killer abilities come into play.

The survivors can't combat the killer directly, nor can the killer simply kill the survivors outside of special circumstances. The killer's goal is to chase survivors, strike them down, and carry them to a hook. This normally takes two hits: The first hit injures them, gives them a brief speed boost, and leaves them making pain noises and blood trails. A second hit on an injured survivor leaves them "dying" (it takes a long time to bleed out) and only able to crawl until another survivor heals them, or the killer grabs them. Grabbed survivors can button mash for a while to wiggle free, the killer must hurry. A hooked survivor has limited time before the Entity devours them. They can attempt to unhook on their own at first, but without certain perks it's a 4% chance, and failed attempts summon the Entity faster; they're supposed to wait for another survivor to rescue them. When the timer is about halfway there, the Entity is summoned and grabs the survivor with its sharp tentacles, and they must struggle to avoid being impaled; getting hooked a second time skips to this phase if they weren't there yet. A third hook, or a second hook after the Entity has been summoned, is instantly fatal. An unhooked survivor, or one that wiggled free or fell off a stunned killer, is returned to "injured" and can move normally.

Survivors play in third person view, and can bring an item, two add-ons for their item, and an offering. Each survivor starts with three unique perks but one perk slot, they can learn more perks and unlock up to four perk slots as they level up. Survivors can see a glowing Red Stain in front of the killer, and can hear a heartbeat when within the killer's Terror Radius, which gets louder as they get closer. Common survivor actions like healing and repair require randomly timed Skill Checks, where a scare chord plays and a spinning gauge pops up: Stop the needle within a narrow window to pass, failure costs some progress on that action, and makes noise that alerts the killer. Items have limited time or charges, can also be found in chests, and are lost if the survivor doesn't escape. A medical kit speeds healing others and lets a survivor self-heal; a toolbox speeds repair and lets them sabotage hooks. A flashlight can be shined in the killer's face to briefly blind them, and make them drop a carried survivor. Maps and keys can help you find important things by highlighting their "auras" which appear as bright outlines visible through walls and obstacles, depending on which add-ons you use. Many survivor perks also unlock aura reading potential, providing valuable tactical information. Offerings are always consumed, unless they conflict with another offering, and can change the conditions of the Trial by making the Dark Mist in the Fog thicker or thinner, adding score multipliers, or setting the Trial in a specific map. Colorful standing pallets found in tight passages around each map can be toppled by the survivor to block a pursuing killer, stunning them if it hits them directly. These pallets can then be vaulted over quickly to "loop" a killer who went around them. Survivors can also vault open windows and low railings faster than killers. Survivors can hide in lockers, but the killer can search them. There's an escape hatch on the map, to give the last survivor a chance to escape without fixing generators, but it doesn't unlock until needed.

The killer plays in first person view, but works much the same way, except that each killer has a unique power instead of an item slot, and can enhance it with their own add-ons. They can see the auras of generators and hooks, and get visual cues when survivors make loud noises. Running survivors leave glowing red Scratch Marks on nearby surfaces that the killer can see, which fade over time. Killers have their own set of perks and offerings, like the Memento Mori offering, which lets them perform a gory finishing move on one downed survivor during that Trial. Killers can't vault over pallets, but can stop to destroy them by stomping them. They can also stop to kick partially repaired generators to short them out and undo some repair progress (once per repair) but completed generators are invulnerable to this. Killers who catch a survivor hiding in a locker, vaulting an obstacle, repairing a generator, or otherwise occupied can grab them instantly. Some killer perks are Hexes which depend on Totems, small bundles of skulls and bones hidden around the map: These provide very powerful abilities, but survivors can "cleanse" totems to neutralize them.

Once all survivors have escaped or been killed, players are awarded their score in Bloodpoints. This can be spent on nodes in the Bloodweb to buy perks and items for your character. After buying a few nodes, the Entity spawns near the edge of the web, and eats a node for every one you buy, so go for what you really want first. Buying out the web raises your character a level. You can earn points playing one character, then switch to another character to spend them. At higher levels, you can buy your character's starting perks to unlock them for your other characters to buy on their webs. The web continues to reset when bought out, even at max level, so you can refill inventory and max out perks. Daily Rituals and Rift Challenges can also be completed for bonus points.

Cosmetic outfits for your characters are available from the in-game store. Some can only be bought with Auric Cells which you can buy with cash, others can also be bought with Iridescent Shards which you can grind for. Shards can also be spent to unlock new characters and perks, even from some DLC chapters, although there are only a few perks available in the Shrine of Secrets at any given time.

Minor gripes: The game often glitches back to the main menu with an "unknown error" while navigating menus or after a match, has to cancel a match because a player failed to load, or crashes to desktop. Matchmaking queues occasionally experience technical difficulties. Balance issues are inherent to this sort of game: The whole Hex mechanic could use an overhaul; Ruin is particularly broken. (EDIT: The "Hex: Ruin" perk has been changed in a recent update.) Going away from keyboard suddenly may give a free pass as a killer, but can sandbag your team as a survivor: This is sometimes unavoidable in real life, and if you have adult responsibilities that frequently interrupt your gaming time at random, then this game may not be for you.

TL;DR: Lonely tentacle monster invites some friends over for an evening of fun and games, hilarity ensues, would get tunneled again.

"I have a confession to make," whispered Claudette, as she took off her glasses and shook out her dreadlocks. "I want to teach you so much more than Botany Knowledge..." [i]Claudette, I love you, but I'm writing a serious review here. I've already posted questionable fanfiction once, and I don't think I can get away with that meme twice in a row.[/i] "Oh. Maybe later?" [i]Sure thing. Call me![/i] ... This is an online asymmetric multiplayer survival horror game. I got interested in this through watching streamers play it on Twitch, but it sat in my library a long time before I started playing it regularly. My favorite streamer invited me to a Survive With Friends match, and I've been enjoying it so far since then. The Entity lives in the Fog, and wants to play a game. It collects interesting souls and pits them against each other in a Trial: Four mortal survivors, one immortal killer. It's meant to be a balanced contest, as the Entity psychically feeds off this process, because reasons. Each map has junked portable generators and hanging meat hooks scattered around: The survivors need to repair five of the generators to power the electric gates and open the exits; the killer needs to sacrifice them on the hooks. It seems simple enough, but it gets deep as more survivor and killer abilities come into play. The survivors can't combat the killer directly, nor can the killer simply kill the survivors outside of special circumstances. The killer's goal is to chase survivors, strike them down, and carry them to a hook. This normally takes two hits: The first hit injures them, gives them a brief speed boost, and leaves them making pain noises and blood trails. A second hit on an injured survivor leaves them "dying" (it takes a long time to bleed out) and only able to crawl until another survivor heals them, or the killer grabs them. Grabbed survivors can button mash for a while to wiggle free, the killer must hurry. A hooked survivor has limited time before the Entity devours them. They can attempt to unhook on their own at first, but without certain perks it's a 4% chance, and failed attempts summon the Entity faster; they're supposed to wait for another survivor to rescue them. When the timer is about halfway there, the Entity is summoned and grabs the survivor with its sharp tentacles, and they must struggle to avoid being impaled; getting hooked a second time skips to this phase if they weren't there yet. A third hook, or a second hook after the Entity has been summoned, is instantly fatal. An unhooked survivor, or one that wiggled free or fell off a stunned killer, is returned to "injured" and can move normally. Survivors play in third person view, and can bring an item, two add-ons for their item, and an offering. Each survivor starts with three unique perks but one perk slot, they can learn more perks and unlock up to four perk slots as they level up. Survivors can see a glowing Red Stain in front of the killer, and can hear a heartbeat when within the killer's Terror Radius, which gets louder as they get closer. Common survivor actions like healing and repair require randomly timed Skill Checks, where a scare chord plays and a spinning gauge pops up: Stop the needle within a narrow window to pass, failure costs some progress on that action, and makes noise that alerts the killer. Items have limited time or charges, can also be found in chests, and are lost if the survivor doesn't escape. A medical kit speeds healing others and lets a survivor self-heal; a toolbox speeds repair and lets them sabotage hooks. A flashlight can be shined in the killer's face to briefly blind them, and make them drop a carried survivor. Maps and keys can help you find important things by highlighting their "auras" which appear as bright outlines visible through walls and obstacles, depending on which add-ons you use. Many survivor perks also unlock aura reading potential, providing valuable tactical information. Offerings are always consumed, unless they conflict with another offering, and can change the conditions of the Trial by making the Dark Mist in the Fog thicker or thinner, adding score multipliers, or setting the Trial in a specific map. Colorful standing pallets found in tight passages around each map can be toppled by the survivor to block a pursuing killer, stunning them if it hits them directly. These pallets can then be vaulted over quickly to "loop" a killer who went around them. Survivors can also vault open windows and low railings faster than killers. Survivors can hide in lockers, but the killer can search them. There's an escape hatch on the map, to give the last survivor a chance to escape without fixing generators, but it doesn't unlock until needed. The killer plays in first person view, but works much the same way, except that each killer has a unique power instead of an item slot, and can enhance it with their own add-ons. They can see the auras of generators and hooks, and get visual cues when survivors make loud noises. Running survivors leave glowing red Scratch Marks on nearby surfaces that the killer can see, which fade over time. Killers have their own set of perks and offerings, like the Memento Mori offering, which lets them perform a gory finishing move on one downed survivor during that Trial. Killers can't vault over pallets, but can stop to destroy them by stomping them. They can also stop to kick partially repaired generators to short them out and undo some repair progress (once per repair) but completed generators are invulnerable to this. Killers who catch a survivor hiding in a locker, vaulting an obstacle, repairing a generator, or otherwise occupied can grab them instantly. Some killer perks are Hexes which depend on Totems, small bundles of skulls and bones hidden around the map: These provide very powerful abilities, but survivors can "cleanse" totems to neutralize them. Once all survivors have escaped or been killed, players are awarded their score in Bloodpoints. This can be spent on nodes in the Bloodweb to buy perks and items for your character. After buying a few nodes, the Entity spawns near the edge of the web, and eats a node for every one you buy, so go for what you really want first. Buying out the web raises your character a level. You can earn points playing one character, then switch to another character to spend them. At higher levels, you can buy your character's starting perks to unlock them for your other characters to buy on their webs. The web continues to reset when bought out, even at max level, so you can refill inventory and max out perks. Daily Rituals and Rift Challenges can also be completed for bonus points. Cosmetic outfits for your characters are available from the in-game store. Some can only be bought with Auric Cells which you can buy with cash, others can also be bought with Iridescent Shards which you can grind for. Shards can also be spent to unlock new characters and perks, even from some DLC chapters, although there are only a few perks available in the Shrine of Secrets at any given time. Minor gripes: The game often glitches back to the main menu with an "unknown error" while navigating menus or after a match, has to cancel a match because a player failed to load, or crashes to desktop. Matchmaking queues occasionally experience technical difficulties. Balance issues are inherent to this sort of game: The whole Hex mechanic could use an overhaul; Ruin is particularly broken. (EDIT: The "Hex: Ruin" perk has been changed in a recent update.) Going away from keyboard suddenly may give a free pass as a killer, but can sandbag your team as a survivor: This is sometimes unavoidable in real life, and if you have adult responsibilities that frequently interrupt your gaming time at random, then this game may not be for you. TL;DR: Lonely tentacle monster invites some friends over for an evening of fun and games, hilarity ensues, would get tunneled again.