Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food

When you were partying, I studied counter picks. When you were having premarital sex, I mastered last hitting. While you wasted your days at the gym in pursuit of vanity, I cultivated map awareness. Now that the meta is on fire and meme builds are at the gate, you have the audacity to come to me for help?

Pray for Paris is my lover

I suck in game and irl

Ohio Account