8 people found this review helpful
5 people found this review funny
Not Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 8.6 hrs on record
Posted: 17 Nov, 2015 @ 2:05am
Updated: 26 Dec, 2016 @ 12:38pm

You will be lured by astounding steam review's statistic (over 95% positive), simple but stylish visuals, great soundtrack, in-game level editor... Unfortunately, all that serves only one aim - to f|u|сk you: mentally and literally.

It's about:
  • jumping;
  • catching the rhythm;
  • reacting on rhythm's changes;
  • collecting stars to unlock further levels;
  • testing your reaction and nervous system.

Why you should play this:
  • you've played BIT.TRIP RUNNER, liked it and considered as an easy game;
  • complex levels with dymamically changing level's background;
  • in spite of gameplay simplicity (just pushing one button) it's various enough: hidden paths to obtain a "Star", special points which throw your "quadrate" higher, portals turns things up-side-down, rocket-"flights" among deadly obstacles and etc.;
  • soundtrack - in a nutshell, even better than JLo's аss.

Why may not like it:
  • no checkpoints - levels way too long for that: how interesting to start all over again (hundreds of times) just for the chance to push the button in right microsecond is up to you;
  • sudden and unpredictable changes of rhythm bring the feeling that game doesn't challenge (or test) you, but tortures instead;
  • practice mode, which allows you to explore the level in advance with an oppurtunity to make checkpoints wherever you want, is absolutely meaningless because the soundtrack in practice mode is distinct (another feeling of rhythm) and level itself too large to remember;
  • unexplainable freezes.

Regrettably, all strengths of this game is just a mask behind of which cruel, sadistic pervert is hiding and he desperately (but quietly) hates you. Yes, you, personally... Literally.

http://steamproxy.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=720409365
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11 Comments
Doctor Lemon 8 Feb, 2016 @ 2:43am 
you should of used the word opinion to piss people off even more
akhsavi 6 Jan, 2016 @ 6:40pm 
@malcolmmackay224
thank you
CalvinHobbes 6 Jan, 2016 @ 5:04pm 
Excellent summary of the game. Comments along the lines of "you don't like it because you aren't good enough" are useless.

I wish I had read your review before buying the game, it would have saved me a couple of bucks and more importantly the frustration of playing this game. I was hoping for something with the great gameplay of VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV - not even close.
akhsavi 6 Jan, 2016 @ 2:29am 
@Gorgon
"lvl 202 hates this game :D"
what's that suppose to mean ? How exactly steam level affects on gaming experience ? My level is too high to appreciate that "great" game ? If you want to spend your time on that game - you're welcome to do so, but that doesn't mean that others should do so as well. I don't like the game, I don't see any reason to devote many hours to it, as a result, I don't recommend it. Period.
Marcouse 1 Jan, 2016 @ 12:58pm 
One of the problem is that there is no checkpoints... And then the next problem is that there is a practice mode where you can set checkpoints... Doesn't make sence.
akhsavi 22 Dec, 2015 @ 5:05am 
@1beastyboy1
how about advise what to do to your dog/wife/children ?
Once again to all of you so-called "pro"-in-game: that game doesn't deserve to spend a lot of hours in.
Previous "specialists" together spent almost 1000h in it. In my book there're much better games to devote that much time to and "Geometry Dash" clearly not one of them.
HellsFury 22 Dec, 2015 @ 4:21am 
Don't leave a negative review just because you aren't good at the game and find it hard, I have all 3 stars in every level in the main except for 3 levels, the demon levels, and I almost have one beaten, even my 8 year old cousin only has like 7 more to beat, so don't leave negative reviews based on the fact that you aren't good at this type of game, thanks
akhsavi 14 Dec, 2015 @ 7:33am 
@TheOne21
yeah, another "pro" with over 700h in-game giving me a lesson what to do with my spare time...
Once again, I don't recommend the game not because it's hard, but because it's pointless to spend a lot of hours in it when there're a lot much better games (including) runners available in store
otag 14 Dec, 2015 @ 7:27am 
Ur just mad because you suck at the game.
akhsavi 10 Dec, 2015 @ 7:35pm 
@[GD] legoindie
well, I say you sound like a light-minded "pro" here: if I want to put over 200 hours of my life into a game, it, certainly, won't be a simplistic "runner" with questionable balance. There're much better games to spend time and much better '"runners" like Runner 2 for example.
But if you think that your ability to spend 200h in such game gives you a right to call a stranger "noob", then don't be surprised hearing that you're an idiot in response