No, you’re NOT a real gamer.

I’m so sick of all these people that think they’re gamers. No, you’re not. Most of you are not even close to being gamers. I see these people saying “I put well over 100 hours in this game, it’s great!” that’s nothing, most of us can easily put 300+ hours in all our games. I see people who only have a Nintendo Switch and claim to be gamers. Come talk to me when you pick up a PS4 controller then we be friends.

Also DEAR ALL WOMEN: Pokémon is not a real game. Animal Crossing is not a real game. The Sims is not a real game. Mario is not a real game. Stardew valley is not a real game. Mobile games are NOT.REAL.GAMES. put down the baby games and play something that requires challenge and skill for once.

Sincerely, all of the ACTUAL gamers.

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wait, wait, wait.... hold your horses... uhm... YOU'RE A GIRL GAMER?!!?! O_O Not to be a freak, but.. just when I thought you couldn't get more attractive.. you started playing video games. Nicely done, m'lady. You've just become every man's dream woman. If you had missed a couple before, now you can be sure you've got us ALL "drooling", lol.

funny monke

Crabfest®, the ultimate celebration of everything crab, is back at Red Lobster®! For a limited time, guests are invited to discover bigger and better ways to enjoy the largest variety of crab offered all year. Crab lovers can choose from options like NEW! Jumbo Snow and Dungeness crab as well as guest-favorite King crab, available while supplies last exclusively during Crabfest. For even more ways to enjoy crab, guests can also choose from favorite dishes featuring crab, like the the Ultimate Feast®, Crab Linguini Alfredo and Wild-Caught Snow Crab Dinner. During Crabfest, Red Lobster is celebrating the fishing boats and crews that help supply crab to its restaurants, including the Deadliest Catch™ fleet. Guests can toast the fleet with the NEW! Rogue Wave cocktail, featuring Sauza Gold tequila, blue curacao and house margarita mix topped with a splash of ginger ale and served in collectible Deadliest Catch™ glassware.

What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl's bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior.