Recent reviews by Stealth

LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i dislike this so much that i might type out and print this entire story as a book, only to burn it

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controls feel incredibly fluid, im beyond impressed. feels like carving butter. 11/10

just like motherlode. nostalgic as heck dude this game is straight up yolo swag money dawg #throwbackthursday. i miss flash games so much.

i have my reasons. i wont tell you.

i have my reasons. i wont tell you.

The Dark Souls of cooking simulators.

game launched briefly, what i learned in the short amount of time i had was that the game is terribly optimized. could barely keep 60 fps on medium/low graphics. my specs are well above what is recommended. fix the game, i could run WoW on a ti-84 calculator. the least you could do is make it run on your average PC.

then after seeing the character selection screen, it feels incredibly bare and DEI inspired. i prefer character customization to playing an extremely lesbian shaved head character personally. i am a tank enjoyer, there were only 2 options for tank, both of which were women. give me a stout 3 foot tall old dwarf with a long beard please. i dont vibe with these choices, tired of all the strong characters having honkers too. not like it's revolutionary to have the option to create your own character either. give more options or make a character creator.

then after the pleasant 5 minutes i spent in the tutorial, i figured i was ready to jump in to the play-doh graphic, frame skipping mess of a game to give it a shot. get permanently stuck on a loading screen. after 5+ more minutes i closed the game because it clearly wasnt going to load.

decided id give it one more shot at launching, then the game gives me a crash report. how splendid

you can experience everything above i just described for the low price of $22.50 (10% off). what are you waiting for? buy now

this game is 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the downfall of EA will be glorious