Steam Community :: ✟DEUS✟ Bellegar

✟DEUS✟ Bellegar

Stoic Geraltson

Gibraltar

Be cursed all Divines, for an unwelcome light shines in this dread, dreary cave that was marked as my grave!
A lowly male among my Bellagarettes! Unworthy are you, be they blondes or brunettes to gaze upon their countenance fair, their luscious lips, their voluptuous hair!

O ignorant innocent, 'tis I Bellegar! The greatest practitioner of magic by far!
There isn't a spell, no incantation arcane that is not stored in my miraculous brain! I speak, I rhyme and wonders create! The world is my playground and the living my bait!

'Twere the vagaries of youth that landed me here! Demons I thought that I could puppeteer! For it was in those days my one and true aim, the attention of Maxos to dramatically claim!
Devils I summoned, a demonic quartet! Alas they posed too big a threat! I was soon overcome, nigh unto death! 'Maxos!' I called with my last, desparate breath!
He saved my life with wild wondrous magic, and yet the outcome was dreadfully tragic! He locked me in here for my reckless behaviour, vowing that I would have no other saviur than a champion so bold and downright courageous they'd dare to defy my trespass outrageous.
The demons I summoned, they guarded my prison, but after long last, a champion has risen! So cheers, old chum, for unbarring the door! Now if you'll excuse me, I have a world to explore!

You mean you don't know the patriarch of wizards? The devoted companion of fire breathing lizards?
A jetpack he gave the Dragon Commander Aye, I cann tell you with absolute candour that he gave him a mighty empire too! Boy, you've got a lot of catching up to do!
So hie thee to a store and take a good gander at the amazing spectacle that is Dragon Commander!

Who is counting the years or even the centuries? This isn't the worst of penitentiaries! Rifts I have run, in dreams I have seen thousands of kingdoms and galaxies obscene!
Furthermore I devised these Bellegarettes, the choicest of ladies a man can get! Yes the demons you vanquished, so now I am free! But was I truly confined? Ha! Not me!
And soon so shall I, though don't say goodebye! I'll e out in the wilds, in the woods in the dales! There I may meet you and spin you new tales!
So let us prepare, my savoury lasses! I mean to depart, so move your sweet asses!

Be praised all Divines, for a bright light now shines in this dread, dreary cave that was marked as my grave!
Oh beautiful girl! The brightest star yet! You have to become a Bellegarette! Stay with me in my great Lair of Love, and I'll treat you better than the Gods up above!
Aye a Bellegarette! A woman so blessed that her head she may rest against the red hot confines of my amorous breast!
To you I'll be undyingly devoted! In the softest of silks you'll be sensually coated! Yours will be the very miracles I'll fashion! Yours will be Bellegar's unending passion!
Sweet lovely maiden, with gems I'll thee laden! My love and my lust: I owe you this debt, for as of now you're a Bellegarette!
Queen of all jewels, adorable pet! How I rejoice you're my Bellegarette!
Woman, you are my Bellegarette, as per the signed contract you will dress in a frilly corset!

*Squeak!* Upon the shore below this cave, you'll meet a necromancer, grave. Find the sand and take a left, you'll find her if you're very deft!

*Squeak!* The wizard here is quite the fellow. Grab a mat! Say, grab a pillow! You'll be the greatest Hunter yet if you become a Bellegarette!

Warden Bill: What a joy it is to be a Bellegarette, the most favoured of women!

Demitasse Spoon: My love, my own, my Bellegar! Embrace me, do!

Natalia Dormer: Oh, Bellegar! How I adore you!

*Mcchicken stares at Bellegar with both admiration and bewilderment. How can a madman like him have such devoted sweethearts?*

Masked Aristocrat: Haven't you heard the story of the slug and the saltfish? If they can find love together, I suppose there's hope for anybody!

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✟DEUS✟ Quercus
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My Bellagarettes!

I
The Owl and the Pússy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five-pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
"O lovely Pússy! O Pússy, my love,
What a beautiful Pússy you are,
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful Pússy you are!"

II
Pússy said to the Owl, "You elegant fowl!
How charmingly sweet you sing!
O let us be married! too long we have tarried:
But what shall we do for a ring?"
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-Tree grows
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood
With a ring at the end of his nose,
His nose,
His nose,
With a ring at the end of his nose.

III
"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling
Your ring?" Said the Piggy, "I will."
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
They danced by the light of the moon,
The moon,
The moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.

This is an ode to Rivellions truest sons and daughters: the Quercuscloaks.

We drink to our youth, and to days come and gone.
For the age of oppression is now nearly done.
We'll drive out the English from this land that we own.
With our blood and our steel we'll take back our home.

All hail to Quercus! You are the High King!
In your great honor we drink and we sing.
We're the children of Rivellion, and we fight all our lives.
And when Heaven beckons, every one of us dies!
But this land is ours and we'll see it wiped clean.
Of the scourge that has sullied our hopes and our dreams!

All hail to Quercus! You are the High King!
In your great honor we drink and we sing.
We're the children of Skyrim, and we fight all our lives.
And when Heaven beckons, every one of us dies!

We drink to our youth, to the days come and gone.
For the age of oppression is now nearly done.

Comments

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Ned Kelly 5 Dec, 2024 @ 9:39pm

Salutations Jerry, may I inquire as to what your gripe with the venerable Bellegar is? Do his rhymes, concocted and perfected in the most hallowed of Skaldic halls, invoke a sense of inexplicable, unbridled lust for wanton macabre violence within ye? Does that Orcish desire, which befouls and blackens your ichor yearn to decimate and destroy all that is innovative and pure? If so, then I believe you shall be fettered and coerced into convening with the venerable Doctor Quercus, who can rectify all of your ailments and allow you to ascend into a sphere of tranquility, like a Phoenix of archaic yore.

Juicy Jerry 22 Dec, 2023 @ 3:40am

this has gotta be the gayest group of friends ive ever met. yall think you cool cause you talk all trucking weird like you got ♥♥♥♥♥♥ a million times by yalls dads and weren't properly trained don the english language

Cheezbrgr 20 Aug, 2021 @ 10:29am

Dearest Emily, my sister in arms! Please, pay no mind to Dear Bellegar's sexual offers. He is simply in dire need of some "help".

✟DEUS✟ Bellegar 19 Aug, 2021 @ 8:14pm

Oh Emily, so wise and fair, how I long to stroke your golden curled hair. Fair lady, do not flee, I am not a pest, please let dear Bellegar caress the tips of your ample breasts.

Heidrun 18 Aug, 2021 @ 3:07pm

you weird zealots really have nothing better to do?

✟DEUS✟ Bellegar 18 Aug, 2021 @ 12:18am

Sweet lovely maiden, with gems I'll thee laden! My love and my lust: I owe you this debt, for as of now you're a Bellegarette!
Queen of all jewels, adorable pet! How I rejoice you're my Bellegarette!

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