✪ Dimk Nimkim ✪'s POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2022 @ 7:01am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2017 @ 1:01am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2017 @ 12:49am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2022 @ 8:58pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2017 @ 12:37am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 11:52pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2017 @ 1:03am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 11 Oct, 2017 @ 4:39am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 7:24pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 9:00pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 11:29pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 16 May, 2021 @ 12:28am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 17 May, 2021 @ 1:54am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 11:28pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2022 @ 9:02pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 11:22pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 7:06pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 18 May, 2021 @ 2:21am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 16 May, 2021 @ 12:32am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 11 Oct, 2017 @ 3:58am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2017 @ 12:37am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 9:10pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 16 May, 2021 @ 12:32am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 7:20pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 9:11pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 16 May, 2021 @ 3:20am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 12:49am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 9:21pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 8:25pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 9:16pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 16 May, 2021 @ 12:38am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 11:55pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 16 May, 2021 @ 12:42am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 9:01pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2017 @ 12:26am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 1:06am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2017 @ 12:22am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 1:38am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 11 Oct, 2017 @ 4:00am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 1:05am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 7:18pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 17 May, 2021 @ 2:00am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 16 May, 2021 @ 1:44am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2022 @ 9:03pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 1:08am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 12:55am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 9:28pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 17 May, 2021 @ 1:59am

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 11:19pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 15 May, 2021 @ 8:03pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 17 May, 2021 @ 1:57am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2022 @ 9:21pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

3 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

4 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

2 / 3

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

29 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30