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And just when we thought you couldn't get any more unpredictable, you defy expectations with your ability to shatter into crumbs that can rival the Sahara desert in their dryness. Forget using you as a simple bread base – you're practically an exfoliating scrub for the digestive system.

So, here's to you, burnt toast, for always pushing the boundaries of what breakfast can be. Your tenacity in turning a simple slice of bread into a culinary adventure is truly a spectacle to behold. Just remember, moderation might be the key next time – unless you're aiming for that perfect blend of carbon and crunch that only you can provide.