291 people found this review helpful
804 people found this review funny
Recommended
15.3 hrs last two weeks / 2,320.9 hrs on record (118.9 hrs at review time)
Posted: 16 Aug, 2016 @ 7:33pm

>Be me, noob to Hearts of Iron in general
>Decide to buy the newest one coming out, looks interesting
>Download and install, start playing
>Decide to start as the glorious American nation because what else
>Spend a few years decking out my army, trying to not be poor
>Fail at not being poor, the Great Depression is kicking my ass
>1940 rolls around, no more poorness, glorious American people can be fat and wealthy again
>Hitler is currently steamrolling France and Poland, no signs of being stopped
>Actiontime.jpg
>Declare war on the Germans, all the Axis declare back on me including Japan
>u wot m8
>Send my superior navy to go kill off the Japanese
>Make a ton of marines and tell them to invade Okinawa and Iwojima
>Have both islands by 1942
>mfw
>Start bombing the literal ♥♥♥♥ out of the Japanese, need to destroy all the weebs
>Move onto the Germans and Italians since Japan is a literal fortress of weebness
>Launch a massive invasion of Africa, all my troops start to die in the desert but we take back land
>Dying for freedom is glorious
>Africa is finally the Allies, at the cost of over 300,000 American lives
>Move onto trying to reenact D-Day
>By this point 1944 is almost here, start to hope to finish the war by the end of 1944
>Naval invade the ♥♥♥♥ out of Germany
>Americans make it safetly, freedom is coming ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
>German army shows up
>Oh ♥♥♥♥
>Americans start dying
>More dying
>This is bad news bears
>So many dead
>Finally Germany starts to run out of manpower, starts to be able to be pushed back
>By this point the Soviets are in the war, also beating the Germans, we start racing towards Berlin
>Soviets beat us to Berlin
>♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.jpg
>Germany collapses, only Italians and Japanese are left
>Invade Japan, no nukes needed
>Japanese die fast thanks to Soviet help
>Start to invade Italy
>British army suddenly decides to land, finally decides to help in the end of the war
>Italy capitulates
>Over a million American casualities
>Blame my generals for the loss of life
>Peace conference rolls around, puppet everything
>Everything must be free
>EVERYTHING
>Decide that's enough puppeting, click done
>Greece somehow gets nearly all of Germany's lands, is now a superpower
>what
>mfw you very nearly recreate WW II but Greece has to ♥♥♥♥ it up
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20 Comments
Amelia.C 5 Oct @ 9:25am 
Just wanna say, your review rocks! It's so full of insights and cool stuff. You really nailed it
Ape 14 Mar, 2017 @ 12:24pm 
@ReactiveIsland5 what do you mean? what are u turkish ew lmao
Reactiveisland5 9 Nov, 2016 @ 3:40pm 
typical greece, get steamrolled at the start of the war and then take all the credit.
adar1 6 Oct, 2016 @ 1:52pm 
Sincerely the way you described it is veery funny, CONGRS!
Voxel 3 Sep, 2016 @ 12:15am 
What a marvelous tale. Mine includes submitting Europe into the glorious Reich of Germany. America, you are next!
Athenian 2 Sep, 2016 @ 8:42am 
A great "What if" Marvel scenario
4Horsemen 2 Sep, 2016 @ 1:19am 
when is any new content coming out... im still waiting to see if i even want to buy this game.
General Awesome 1 Sep, 2016 @ 9:21pm 
You must not be american. It isn't dying for freedom.

It's dying for your country is freedom.
☀️The Mighty Sun ☀ 1 Sep, 2016 @ 11:59am 
this is fucking brilliant hahahahahahaha
seloko 1 Sep, 2016 @ 6:18am 
if i buy this game the credit is on you...(already bought other games made by Paradox like CK2 and EU4)