HELLO PEASANTS, ITS NICE TO MEET YOU BUT ITS EVEN NICER TO MEET ME. NEVER FORGET MALEVELON CREEK.

MY NAME IS JOHN HELLDIVER. Everyone knows that I'm a superhero and my cape isn't the only thing that hangs low to the ground. I have over 1000 hours on the highest difficulty alone and I specilize in sticking it straight up the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cooter.

I go in there using stealth like Solid Snake and I give them a taste of this solid ♥♥♥♥. I go into camouflage mode like predator and by the time they find me it's too late because I'm already up their ass.

There has been an extensive amount of speculation surrounding the dynamics of my ♥♥♥♥ measurements, because of how much the terminids run towards me with their mouth open.

Traumatizing the aliens is a way of life for me. I drop planetside, I bend them over, I open their cheeks nice and wide,I get a nice clear view of the colon, prostate, and coccyx,then I knuckle ♥♥♥♥ them all the way up to the palm right up the butt ♥♥♥♥ so they feel a burning sensation deep in the ass ♥♥♥♥♥ like icyhot.

Clearing the map is a way of life for me. I never extract any samples, ♥♥♥♥ you.

If at any point during the match you want me to stop throwing your reinforcement towards the enemy, I gladly suggest you go ♥♥♥♥ yourself.

I follow absolutely no type of team composition. If you want to give orders, give them to each other,don't you dare bring that ♥♥♥♥ to me.

All I know how to do is go in there, get a lot of poo poo on my peter, and a lot of ♥♥♥♥ on my ♥♥♥♥ from sticking it up their ass.

I turn bot games into Armageddon except instead of a meteor coming towards their face it's this big old fat chimichanga ♥♥♥♥. I go in there, and I put my Twinkie in their stinky and when they ask me where's the cream filling I tell them it's right up their ass

now lets go team.


TOTAL ALIEN DEATH. NEVER FORGET MALEVELON CREEK.

SPILL OIL.

BEHEAD BOTS.

ROUNDHOUSE KICK A TERMINID INTO THE CONCRETE,
SLAM DUNK A CLANKER BABY INTO THE TRASH CAN.

CRUCIFY FILTHY COCKROACHES AND DROP BOMBS ON THEIR HOME.

LAUNCH CHARGERS INTO ALPHA CENTAURI.
TOSS BOTS INTO ACTIVE VOLCANOS.
FEED RED MONKEYS TO BILE TITANS.
CURBSTOMP PREGNANT BUGGERS.
JUDO THROW HUNTERS INTO A WOOD CHIPPER.
MACHINEGUN SHRIEKERS IN HALF.

URINATE INTO BUG NESTS AND STIR FRY THEIR YELLOW EYES FOR JU-JU BEES.

REPORT ANTI-DEMOCRATIC ACTION TO THE MINISTRY OF TRUTH.

SET FIRES TO THEIR HOME PLANETS.












V banger quotes from years ago V

ins0mniak: yo
ins0mniak: i know how im gonna make millions
ins0mniak: so this briliant idea just hit me
ins0mniak: i put my underwear into the dryer and took it out and put it on and its like i have heating now

ins0mniaK is now Online.
ins0mniaK: Wow lol so funny xd *insert typical lowiq meme here*

Holy: http://i.imgur.com/cBBcMLv.png
Holy: http://i.imgur.com/8Wtc6cq.png
Holy: c9 pls, i need a new gaming toilet

OUR NAME IS CLOUD 9
WE ALWAYS SEEM TO CHOKE
STEWIE COULD SAVE US
BUT HE DIED IN THE SMOKE

In regards to gambling on csgolotto at the ripe age of 16:
insanity: feelsbadman
insanity: i wish i won that so i could coin flip
insanity: now my moms 10 dollars down the drain

Queuing in CSGO and my friend went goblin mode:
Mizer: Hey max

changes his name

Dosia Skype Sex: Wanna have sex
<ins0mniak: no ♥♥♥♥ off nazar

changes his name to his irl phone number

Dosia Skype Sex (hisphone): hi
Dosia Skype Sex (hisphone): wanna have sex now
ins0mniak: rofl ur retarded
ins0mniak: jump off the nearest bridge please