Dead Inside [open.spotify.com]
Devil's Work [open.spotify.com]
Berried Alive [open.spotify.com]
Hell and Back [open.spotify.com]
The World Is Empty [open.spotify.com]
Dear Death, I Miss You [open.spotify.com]
$MOKE UNDER THE WATER [open.spotify.com]

🥵 Full-Time Gooner | Edge Lord (Literally) | 2D Devotee 🥵
Welcome to my shame cave, where productivity goes to die and hentai reigns supreme. I have ascended beyond mortal pleasures and now exist in a state of perpetual edging, fueled only by 2D thighs and questionable life choices.

💦 Interests:
Staring at the screen for hours, doing "research."
Hand endurance training (no, I don’t play rhythm games).
Finding the perfect loop for maximum efficiency.
Achieving spiritual enlightenment through dopamine starvation.

🔥 Achievements:
Once edged for 8 hours straight and had a religious experience.
Have more hentai tabs open than life goals.
My post-nut clarity could rewrite the Constitution.
Doctor said I should stop, but what does he know?

⚠️ Warning:
If I go AFK for too long, assume the worst.
Not safe for work, school, church, or any respectable establishment.
I am what your internet provider warns you about.

💌 DMs open for:
Trading "educational materials."
Discussing the philosophy of edging (it's an art).
Coping with mutual shame.

👀 Currently seeking:
A sponsorship from lotion companies or a time machine to undo my search history.

🎌 Certified Degenerate | 2D Enthusiast | Professional Weeb 🎌
Welcome to my profile, where waifus are eternal, sleep is optional, and my FBI agent cries himself to sleep every night.

💖 Interests:
Watching anime at 3 AM and regretting it at 8 AM.
Defending my waifu’s honor like my life depends on it.
Collecting figures instead of savings.
Hentai? Yes. Plot? Sometimes.

🔥 Achievements:
Once binged 72 episodes in a single sitting (only minor organ failure).
Have seen things that would make even the most cultured man blush.
Can name 50 anime OPs in under a minute, but not my grandma’s birthday.
My Google search history is a federal offense.

🚨 Warning:
If you insult my waifu, prepare for a 10,000-word essay and a PowerPoint presentation.
I will judge your taste in anime, but with love.
Not responsible for any psychological damage caused by my recommendations.

📩 DMs open for:
Degenerate discussions
Waifu debates
Finding new ways to avoid responsibilities through anime.

👀 Currently seeking:
A rich sugar parent to fund my anime addiction or a portal to the 2D world so I never have to pay taxes again.

💸 Ex-Millionaire | Skin Gambling Survivor | Full-Time Cope Artist 💸
Welcome to my financial disaster simulator, also known as my Steam profile. I once had a dream, a full inventory, and a functioning bank account—then I discovered CS:GO gambling and decided that "responsibility" was just a myth.

🎰 Greatest (and Worst) Moments:
Turned a $2 skin into $5,000, then back into $0 in under 10 minutes.
Put my entire inventory on a coinflip… and lost to a guy named "BigDaddyGaben69."
My family still asks what happened to my car (I don’t have the heart to tell them).
Had a Dragon Lore once… now I have trauma.

💀 Daily Routine:
Wake up, check balance (cry)
Deposit last $20 into roulette (double or nothing, baby)
Lose, promise to never do it again
5 minutes later: "ALL IN OR NO BALLS."

⚠️ Warning:
Do NOT lend me skins. You will never see them again.
If you hear me say “trust me, I got this,” run.
I am the reason gambling helplines exist.

📩 DMs open for:
Sharing war stories of financial ruin
Finding new, terrible ways to lose money
Asking for loans I will 100% not pay back

👀 Currently Seeking:
A sponsorship from a CS:GO skin site or a miracle.

🎰 Lord of the Lucky Losers 🎰
Welcome to my kingdom of bad decisions and big dreams! 👑💸 I am a professional amateur gambler, specializing in winning just enough to keep losing. Some say I have a problem, but I prefer to call it "an exciting financial strategy".

🃏 Accomplishments:
Once turned $5 into $500, then back into $0 within an hour.
Lost my mortgage payment but won a free buffet at the casino.
RNGesus follows me just to laugh.
I once bet on a coin flip and still managed to lose twice.

💀 Motto: "Go big, go broke, then go ask your friends for a loan."

🎲 If you ever need someone to make you feel better about your life choices, just add me. I guarantee I’m running on luck, fumes, and regrets.

🎲 Casino Enthusiast, Wallet Escape Artist 🎲
I came into this world with nothing, and thanks to gambling, I’ve held onto that tradition with pride. My financial strategy consists of all-ins, bad calls, and blind faith in lady luck (who has a restraining order against me).

💸 Greatest Achievements:
Hit quad aces in poker, still lost.
Once bet my rent money—now my landlord and I are best friends (I live in his shed).
Managed to get banned from a slot machine for crying too loudly.
Turned $1,000 into $0 faster than a Tesla from 0-60.

🃏 Personal Life:
My bank thinks I’ve been hacked, but it’s just me.
I treat the stock market like a horse race and my credit score like a joke.
My mom tells people I’m an "investment specialist" so she doesn’t have to admit I lost my car playing blackjack.

👀 Currently Seeking:
A rich sponsor, a financial intervention, or a casino that hasn’t recognized me yet.

If you see me at the tables—bet against me, it’s a guaranteed win.