Janitor's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2018 @ 8:05pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2018 @ 8:08pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2018 @ 7:44pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2018 @ 7:40pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2018 @ 6:53pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2018 @ 7:42pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2018 @ 8:34pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 14 Apr, 2018 @ 9:07am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 10:35am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 12:02pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 3:17pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 3:41pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 14 Apr, 2018 @ 8:59am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 3:05pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2018 @ 8:30pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 3:41pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 12:07pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 4:01pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 3:41pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 14 Apr, 2018 @ 10:16am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 12:05pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 14 Apr, 2018 @ 10:54am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 1:29pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 6:43pm

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 6:43pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 3:42pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 14 Apr, 2018 @ 8:31am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 14 Apr, 2018 @ 9:05am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 1:18pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 11:56am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 4 Sep, 2019 @ 8:49pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2018 @ 8:39pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2018 @ 8:34pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2018 @ 6:56pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 9 Dec, 2018 @ 1:12pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 12:07pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2018 @ 8:32pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 14 Apr, 2018 @ 8:13am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2018 @ 6:57pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 4:25pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 9 Dec, 2018 @ 1:34pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 3:59pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2018 @ 3:18pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2019 @ 1:04pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 1 Sep, 2019 @ 6:48pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 4 Sep, 2019 @ 9:37pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 11 Sep, 2019 @ 7:29pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 12 Sep, 2019 @ 10:36am

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 1 Sep, 2019 @ 4:40pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 1 Sep, 2019 @ 7:24pm

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.

Unlocked 4 Sep, 2019 @ 9:35pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 12 Sep, 2019 @ 10:15am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 12 Sep, 2019 @ 9:55am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 1 Sep, 2019 @ 4:27pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

23 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

6 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

3 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

21 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

22 / 30