Proud to own and use thneeds of the finest quality.

Everybody needs a thneed,
A fine thing that all people-
You know what we need?! For you to stop!
(Yea!)
You suck!
(Yea...)
Everybody needs a thneed!
A fine thing that all people need!
The thneed is good, the thneed is great,
Let's hope we're not too late!
It's a super trendy hat,
It's a tightrope for an acrobat,
A net for catching butterflies,
Daily use for EXERCIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISE!
Everybody needs a thneed,
(A THNEED!)
A fine thing that all people need,
(WE NEED!)
Everybody needs a thneed!
(ahhhhhh ahhhhh)
We want the thneed,
(ahhhhh ahhhhhh)
We need the thneed,
(ahhhhhhh ahhhhhh)
We need a thneeeeeeeeeeeeed!