Hey, just try it!

We at The Archaic Umps, are the chosen ones to lead this world to a great sovereignty of the human race. With advanced technology, such as the mystical Ump, we will tear through our enemies under the flag of science and an air of superiority. Embrace your inner power and tear through the drape of falsehood thrown upon us by the weak and foolish! Join us, pick up that rusty, unused Ump and see what true power is. Show our enemies what it is they will come to fear the most
-Val, His Archness