I know, you are sitting on your ass, sweating your balls off as you recite the Kamasutra over and over again in an attempt to shift focus away from the terrible heat. Sweat is draining out of your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ balls and they are dehydrated. You yearn for a cool treat to pamper your balls but you look in the pantry and END UP WITH NOTHING. You are devastated, as if a stake has been pierced through your heart deep into YOUR BALLS.

Suddenly, you look up and from the clouds descends a primordial being. A god, with wings of light and robes of glistering gold. The god offers it's hand. It's hand, glowing with the strength of a thousand suns. It speaks out to you, you know what it is saying. You hear it. You listen to it. You clasp the hand with your own and placed it right beside your ears. It offers the recipe of a Delectable, Vegan and LGBTQ+ ice cream. You are happy.

First, prepare a frozen metal bowl. Ensure that the bowl is sufficiently chilled the previous night. This would ensure that the cool temperature of the bowl would assist in the ice cream making process.

Next, mix in 1 cup of whipping cream into the bowl. The whipping cream, violently squeezed from the udders of a distraught mother cow with it's offspring ripped away from it, serves as the main base of our vegan ice cream. With a metal whisk, you violently whip and beat the cream intended solely for the offspring of a mother cow. You beat the whipping cream hard to incorporate air bubbles into the cream, whereby after 20 minutes, the cream starts thickening, becoming unsuitable for easy consumption - especially for baby cows.

Next, you prepare a bowl containing 50 grams of rainbow-colored skittles. With a pestle, drive the pestle in hard to crack each skittle into tiny fragments. With each drive of the pestle into the harmonious, homogeneous mix of skittles, you slowly chip away at their hard outer shells to expose their weak innards. You beat the skittles hard until it ends up as a fine, powdery dust. Now you may think, for the perfect LGBTQ+ ice cream, it would be the perfect time to add this rainbow mix into your stiffened cream for an ice cream with dazzling colors. WRONG. With a liberal amount of black food coloring, mix it into the powdered skittles until all traces of the rainbow has been eradicated. Mix it well and enjoy the moment as the once colorful, bright and homogeneous colors fade away into darkness.

Once you have what seems to be black sand dunes in front of your eyes, mix the once-colorful mix of powder into the once-squeezed-from-the-udders-of-a-mother-cow stiffened cream. Mix well to end up with a black soup, perfect for consumption.

Throw the mixture into the freezer. After 8 hours, you will be welcomed with the perfect masterpiece, a delectable gourmet meal fit for vegans and homosexuals alike.