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Hello ladies and gentlemen,
This is breaking news. An Ivar Sanders Anomaly has been detected in eastern China. Our man on the scene, Ethan Vrhel, has confirmed these reports with his "Ingrida 500" measuring device. Specifically, Sanders Measuring Unit (SMU) levels have reached 10000, a level not seen since the late 90s when the current incarnation of Ivar Sanders was born. Previous known incarnations include "African Ivar" 85 years ago. Notably, the birth of an "Ivar Sanders" foreshadows difficult and dangerous times- the birth of Deshaun (African Ivar) in the 30s heralded the start of WW2, and the birth of the current Sanders marked the start of the "War on Terror". While other incarnations of Sanders beyond Deshaun are unknown, a rumored "Anime Ivar" may have had something to do with ancient land wars in Asia. Although each Sanders Anomaly product goes on to live a relatively normal life, a rumored "Anti Sanders" could arrive any day now, marking the end of humanity as we know it. Even more horrifying, given the current pandemic situation, it is not unlikely that the latest Sanders (the one who triggered the Ingrida 500) is already
ඞ Among Us ඞ
Jokes aside, this isn't the time to mess around people. Prepare yourselves for a possible doomsday scenario.
May God help us all,
Max Jensen