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Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.