Badger Response Team

The only way to survive a badger attack is to be prepared.. All you need is a LN2-Shock and with a direct hit, the badger will be frozen instantly, you must then call 22343763 and a BRT squad will be dispatched to your position to take care of the frozen badger.

Ever wanted to know why Area 51 is so strict with security? Well the main reason is because underground is where they keep all the frozen Badgers from the BRT, there is about 1200 Badgers Currently frozen in the heavily fortified complex. There wern't actualy any Badgers before the Roswell Incident on July 8 1947. Since that day there has been reports of dead residents in the surrounding Towns and Cities. On the victims were scratch and bite marks never seen before and didn't relate to any other animal on earth.


How dangerous are Badgers towards humans? Lets just say, if you ever see one in the wild and you arnt equipped with a LN2-Shock, then you might as well just say goodbye. Badgers take no prisoners, they can regenerate wounds in a matter of seconds, and are resistant to Fire, Radiation and pretty much everything you can think of except Ice. They can kill a human in about four seconds, all they do is jump on your face and rip it off with its claws and then pulls your brain out through where your eyes used to be. Badgers can run at a speed of 65km/h on average so there is no point in trying to out run one if it comes after you. Badgers also have three different forms they can change into, Badger (Land), Badgerbird (Sky) and the Badgerfish (Water). They do not require oxygen to live, they breathe once every five years, but they do not breathe the oxygen, they have a special organ in their neck that filters the methane out of the air and inhales that, this process takes about 10mins because of the lack of methane in the air. The Badgers can also go into space and travel through space at speeds of 100km/s. Badgers have a 11/10 danger rating.

Having read this text and learning how dangerous Badgers really are how about join the resistance to try and stop Badgers from taking over the world, maybe even the galaxy, or worse.


Please join.
Thanks.