Ponies for All Americans

Gingivitis has been eroding the gum line of this great nation long enough, it must be stopped. For too long this country has been suffering a great moral and oral decay – in spirit and incisors. A country’s future depends on its – on its ability to bite back. We can no longer be a nation indentured. Our very salivation is at stake.

Together we must brace ourselves as we cross over to the bridgework into the 23rd century. Let us bite the bullet and together make America a sea of shining smiles, from sea to shiny sea.

Now friends some people will tell you that this mandatory tooth brushing law is about the secret dental police kicking down your door to make sure you’ve brushed. Friends. It is not. LYBIO.net

Some will mention the dental re-education centres or the preventative dental maintenance detention facilities. It’s about none of these things. It is not about the government issued toothpaste containing addictive yet harmless substance. No friends. It is not even about DNA gene splicing to create a race of winged monkeys to act as tooth fairies.

Friends what this mandatory tooth brushing law is really about is strong teeth for strong America. My name is Vermin Supreme. I’m a friendly fascist, a tyrant you can trust and you should let me run your life because I know what is best for you. Yes I’m a politician and I will promise you anything your electoral heart desires because you are my constituents, you are the informed voting public and because I have no intention of keeping any promise that I make.



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