Aperture Laboratories

Welcome, gentlemen, to Aperture Science. Astronauts, war heroes, olympians: you're here because we want the best and you are it. So, who is ready to make some science? Now you already met one another on the Limo ride over so let me introduce myself Im Cave Johnson, I own the place. that eager voice you heard is the lovely Caroline, my assistant. Rest assured she has transfered your honorarium to the charitable organisation of your choice, isn't that right Caroline? She's the backbone of this facility, pretty as a postcard too. Sorry fellas, she's married - to science!
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor. Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news: bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts.
Just a heads up: that coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronic activity in your brain. There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I'm serious, visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction.
The point is, if we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So, I have the engineers figuring that one out now. Brain mapping, artificial intelligence, we should have been working on it 30 years ago. I will say this, and I'm gonna say it on tape so everyone hears it 100 times a day: if I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place. Now she'll argue, she'll say she can't - she's modest like that. But you make her! Hell, put her in my computer, I don't care.
Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
That's not a panel; that's a crusher. We sell those too.

Cave Johnson, We're done here