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If WWI Was A Bar Fight - Team Fortress Edition

By CastleHearth

Somewhere in the middle of the Badlands, the gravelpit's most well-known bar is about to experience the brawl of the century.

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Created by

CastleHearth
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Category: Characters, Classes, Story or Lore

Languages: English

Class: Demoman, Engineer, Heavy, Medic, Pyro, Scout, Sniper, Soldier, Spy

Posted

Updated

30 Jun, 2017 @ 7:45pm

1 Jul, 2017 @ 10:47pm

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481	Current Favorites

Guide Index

Overview

Prologue

Storytime

Epilogue

Comments

Prologue

Long ago, the world was enjoying the splenders of a new century. Electricity was discovered not too long before and new pieces of technology, such as the automobile, were now becoming a reality for everyone. The new century opened itself up for new oppurtunities, fresh eyes, and enormous goals that each nation to accomplish. However, despite all this prosperity, trouble was always watching on the horizon and soon, the nations of the world would be at each others throats once again in a war to end all wars....or at least, a war to obtain free bottles of scrumpy...

Music that fits nice with reading (put on loop): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pMAtL7n_-rc
With that said, enjoy...

Storytime

CLICK ON THE PICTURES TO ENLARGE THEM.

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub...

...when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint.

Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg.

Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view.

Britain recommends everyone calm down a bit.

Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers.

Russia and Serbia look at Austria.

Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at.

Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.

Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so.

Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene.

Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too,
and what is Germany going to do about it?

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action anymore.

Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium.

Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper.

When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.

Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France...

...and punches Belgium.

France and Britain punch Germany.

Austria punches Russia.

Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.

Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over.

Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it’s on Britain’s side, but stays there.

Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.

Australia punches Turkey...

...and gets punched back.

There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it.

France gets thrown through a plate glass window...

...but gets back up and carries on fighting.

Russia gets thrown through another one...

...gets knocked out...

...suffers brain damage...

...and wakes up with a complete personality change.

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway.

Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.

America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France...

...then walks over...

...and smashes it with a barstool...

...then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered.

Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany’s fault.

While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet...

...and buy drinks for all their friends.

Epilogue

And so, this brings an end to our conflict. As a result, the world became at peace once more. While some countries stood tall over others, many of the old world empires collapsed from the devestating consciquences of the fighting. From the ashes of these old nations, many new ones rose and new forms of governments and people were born. The results of such a conflict would only bring more conflict in its wake. For now, though, for the next ten to fifteen or so years, the world rejoiced that the end had arrived and that hopefully, another war like this would never errupt again.

At least until some Hoovy decides to be too friendly and spill your drink all over your new suit...

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