Panzermadels: Tank Dating Simulator
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Panzermadels: Tank Dating Simulator

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Panzermadels. What are you missing? A detailed look into the unknown, true story of Panzermodels: Tank Dating Simulator
By Blue
For every question in this game answered, two more appear. I want to take this time with you to explain a theory I have, that might change everything you thought you knew about this intelligent piece of modern literature.

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The Theory
First

This experience has left me with many questions straight from the start. My first and formost question, and what this article is about is what exaclty are the girls depected in this expertly written VN.

And I would like to answer this question, with my own theory, and here's why.

First, the answer

I have found it safe to conclude that these girls are in fact just that, girls. Severly autistic girls with a mental disorder that makes (or they choose) them to believe they are infact tanks from the WWII era. And heres why.

Reasons why

One

Around the start of the story the Character "Tiger" (real name unknown) is heard making engine noises and explains she has lost control, shortly after she crashes into the self insert character "Erwin". And physically crashes, or runs into him. Afterwords the character wakes up in the nurses office, seamingly unharmed except for some sore muscles and slight nausia. Now I do not claim to be an expert on WWII era tanks, much less the Tiger in particular, but I would think it is safe to assume that a human being hit by one going at sufficient speed to lose control would at the very least have sustained injuries worthy of a visit to the ER, with potentially broken bones or worse; but the character in this situation gets out with seamingly barely a scratch, the only conclusion I can think of as why this is the case is that he didn't actually get hit by a real tank at all.

Two

Tanks, as we all know are not small things, they are heavy vehicles designed for warfare, with large amounts of armor, guns, and a large engine to power it all. At the very least bigger then the average car. But these so called "tanks" can fit into their school just fine, one could argue thier school is designed for such vehicles of destruction (even though it looks to of normal size), that quickly falls apart when they go into regular buildings, that certainly wouldn't be made to withstand such large machines. Also the classrooms in the school all have rows of desks and chairs. Tanks would certainly not be able to make use of such things.

Three

Third, and perhaps one of the most obvious clues; is physical appearance.
Tanks, as you are aware, are armoured machines, with treads and cannons designed for combat.
But the characters that they would have us believe are tanks have none of these attributes!
They appear as attractive female human beings, the most they ever come to having these features is them exlaiming they do, or making noises like an engine (which I would argue are emulated with their mouths).

Four

The fourth and in my eyes most important reason as to why I believe these "tanks" are in fact, not tanks is the fact that tanks are machines. And not very computationally complex ones at that, expecially if I am to believe these are machines from the 1940's. I would argue that tanks may be many things, but sentient is not one of them. There has been (to my knowlege) no recorded instances of WWII tanks acheiving sentience, much less feelings of empathy, compassion, and lust. I would argue, that this makes the very idea of sentient tanks who appear as human girls yet still having and using treads, engines, armor, and cannons. Is, in fact, not a very intellegent idea.

Conclusion and explanation on the hypothosized mental disorders of the characters in the the visual novel Panzermadels: Tank Dating Simulator

In conclusion I my final argument is that the characters in this game are not tanks, but girls with autism and or other mental disorders.

Here is a list of mental problems that can change behavior and cause personality changes

1: Schizophrenia
2: Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
3: Head injuries and concusions

The above problems can cause changes in personality depending on the symptoms and severity.

I would hypothosize that the events the game take place in the near future.

Heres the scene: In the (far to) near future the leftists and SJW's have won and taken over. A sect of SJW's that identify as planes and other arial vehicles (see: attack helicopters) have taken over and waged war against the sane, rational folk of the world. This insane sect "flying" under the name of the Plane Girls eventually won the war, normalizing the phenoma of identifying as innanamate objects like tanks and other things. Leading to the creation of schools, and even R rated films catered towards and about these delusioned souls. I would argue that the main character, imigrated from the US, and being a straight, (presumably) white male is unnaware of the situation of the rest of the world outside his sheltered, small town.

And before you bring up the character known as "Sherman" blowing up a small section of the school. They are supplied with government funded weapons to help them more accuratly live out their delusions. They are near and have access to an army surplus shop. That could potentially sell excess weapons to the school. They also attend classes dealing with firearms and the teacher appears to be a member of the military, even though it isn't a military accademy.


But hey, it's just a theory, A GAME THEORY
23 Comments
James Logan 87 11 Dec, 2023 @ 10:36am 
If you played War of the Human Tanks then the story makes perfect sense in that setting!
ponieslovekittens 22 Sep, 2022 @ 3:28am 
I prefer to think of this game as a human implementation of AI style translation. Like when you take a scenery photograph then tell an AI generative adversarial network to filter the image in the style of Picasso. These girls ARE tanks...but they world in which they inhabit has been style translated in a way that renders them as anime girls.
Jerimiah Gottwald 7 Mar, 2022 @ 12:51pm 
You are a tank and you have amnesia.
Saltlord_l 9 Nov, 2021 @ 2:56pm 
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
Hugh Mungus 20 Feb, 2021 @ 3:29pm 
The F you talking about son? Tank girls? Plane Girls? Mental disorders? We're in a war get back in the tank.
K_Rave 11 Feb, 2021 @ 1:51pm 
woah thats some big brain right there
Arabaqui 4 Sep, 2020 @ 10:58am 
Bro, I Totally agree with you. You can't have sexual intercourse with a tank like you do in the game.
Sauce Boss 9 Jul, 2020 @ 1:30pm 
it's a shitpost why are you all taking this so seriously
draxynnic 29 Jun, 2020 @ 5:25am 
A third possibility is that whoever is running the project wants to be sure that the Panzermadels are not going to turn out to be uncontrollable and prove to be more of a threat than an asset - and, thus, the Panzermadels are based on outdated tanks so that if the Panzermadels went rogue, they would not be so threatening that they could not be dealt with using conventional weapons.

This might be the best explanation, since it also links into one of the other mysteries of the setting - the identity of the 'Plane Girls'. These 'Plane Girls' do not appear to be linked with any specific nation, yet there seems to have been an extended conflict with the 'Plane Girls' which has apparently been growing desperate enough to lead to the implementation of penal units. These 'Plane Girls' might be the result of a previous project of similar nature that went rogue, resulting in a more careful implementation of the Panzermadel project.
draxynnic 29 Jun, 2020 @ 5:22am 
The first is that whatever process was used to make the Panzermadels, there is a limit to the mechanical complexity of the tank that can be used as the basis for the process, and WW2-era tanks seem to provide the best compromise between performance and relative simplicity (compared to modern tanks). For instance, modern electronics might interfere with the process, as the programming of the electronics might imprint on a Panzermadel's mind and prevent her from developing a healthy personality. In time, it's possible that new, more optimised designs will be developed for the process, but as the Panzermadels remain in a proof-of-concept state, it is easier to use existing tanks.

A second possibility is that the tanks used in the process need to be tanks that already have some history and personality to them. Tanks which have seen a lot of fighting might be more suitable for the process than a more modern tank.